Would marriage counseling work if my husband feel forced to go ?

The only reason why men (and women) refuse counseling is because they refuse to look at themselves. Why don't you ask your husband to do individual counseling? You’ll have your counselor, and he will have his. Once you both sort out your own lives, then you could start marriage counseling. It takes two to make a relationship work. That should tell you that you both have things you need to change. It makes it easier to work as a couple if you have worked on your own person. Merry was very honest with you. She is telling you that you will still have your ups and downs. There are no guarantees that you will have a perfect marriage. There is no such thing as a perfect couple or a perfect marriage. But you won’t be able to survive as a couple if your husband keeps refusing to get some counseling.

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My husband & I went through a tough time a few years ago - regardless of how many times I suggested counselling he refused to go ...he just did not see the value & merit in this process.

It got to the point were I left - it was not easy (it was the hardest thing I have ever done) ...but living in the situation I was with him was not ok either... surprise, surprise... once I left he wanted me back!

However, my "condition" to this was that we undergo counselling ... he was reluctant ..but I stood my ground (leaving had been SO hard that I did not want to return & then end up just back in the same situation all over again)... He reluctantly agreed to go to counselling (I said we had to go to counselling 3 times before I would discuss moving back with him & after the 3 sessions he agreed to continue with the counselling).

I am not going to sugar coat things & say it was a recipe for a happily ever after (we still have ups & down's) ...but standing my ground about us getting some help in our marriage was a good thing on many levels.

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How would you "force" him into counseling??? A gun to the back?? Even if you could force him to be there physically you can't force him to participate! If you really cannot live with his family....if this is really a deal breaker for you then.... Tell him this is it he either comes with you his wife of 11 years or he stays with mommy. Then stop coming back to him. He is not going to take you seriously if you keep coming back to him. Tell him he can still have a relationship with his family without living with them and choosing them over his wife! Then leave and leave the ball in his court.

Marriage counseling is favored to the issues and arguments of the female side - its a loaded deck stacked against husbands so it is strongly percieved as at best useless and at worst harmful.

"Forcing" him to go is counter productive - you need to convince or indirecly compel him to choose to go with you (or go separately at first, with a joint counseling next). If he is serious about reconciliation then he will most likely give the session(s) themselves a fair shake - you just have to convince him to go.

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/CjR6l

Instead of "forcing" him to go ,why don't you suggest it in a way "I know that they(marriage counseling) can not help but lets go anyways to see what BS they have to say and we might even laugh about all the crap they will say to us when we get back home"

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Unless he is willing to work at the relationship...inside of therapy...outside of therapy....you won't be able to get back on track. If only one of you is putting in effort, you could have the best therapist in the world and it won't matter.

If he is largely passive in therapy, don't waste your money going further.

Also, your first couple of sessions will largely be about bringing the therapist up to speed on where you guys are and how you got there and what the problems are. They don't know your history. Don't expect a lot of positive outcomes until after the 2nd or 3rd session.