Was I wrong to send him this?

Question

My friend has been taking dance lessons.
I know his instructor and I know the specific dance he's learning very well.
I also know the instructor has *always* been teaching the basics wrong. (I took her class one time years ago and left because I knew she was doing it wrong.)

He told me he's frustrated at class and doesn't retain much and has been down on himself, feeling like a failure.

I finally said, "that's because she's teaching the basics wrong, so no matter what you do, you'll never feel right."

It seemed like he didn't believe me (after all, people assume this instructor is so "good" even though she has no qualifications or credentials).

So after hearing him beat himself up once again for how "stupid" he is for not getting it, (his words) I sent him an article that was an interview with the person who created the dance style. This man is very well known, from a long line of dancers.

The creator of the dance was very specific and reiterated in the article 3 times how the basic was to be done -- which is NOT the way his so-called instructor was teaching it.

The creator also said to be cautious about taking lessons from "bad" instructors.

Was I wrong to send him that article, since it clearly pointed out that his instructor was wrong, and would be considered "bad" by the creator's standards?

Blundt Cake · Answer

After learning to do something wrong, it can take a lot of time to unlearn and a lot of people never do.  
Doing it wrong becomes habit and when it's about dancing or other physical skills, muscle memory comes into play.

In the dancing I do, patterns do evolve and change but the basic fundamentals remain the same.   A person cannot break the rules until they master them.  It sounds to me he has not been able to master the rules because he is not being taught the rules properly.

Learning to do the fundamentals properly is extremely important because they work; there's a reason for it.

He's free to take or leave the info you've given him.  If it were me, I would appreciate understanding that *I* was not "stupid" if the service I'm paying for (dance instruction) was sub-par.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm going to have the be the lone wolf here in saying no, not really. If you didn't like, you don't have to go to that class. If you're needs aren't being met or you want to give the teacher some of your background to help them understand you (I came from music so dance was a challenge, for example) than that is OK. But it's not generally OK to go around telling people they are wrong. You can ask why they differ from the style but don't go around telling them they are wrong and stupid and need to change, that is the definition of rude, it's out of place, it's poor etiquette.

Everything evolves and everything changes and different people will teach it in a different way. Finding the right teacher for you is an important part of learning anything. I realize you don't have so much control over that in high school, but in dance, you should be able to. Believe it or not, the world and everybody in it doesn't just bend to make your life easier.

Richie · Answer

It's sure good to point out phonies. But try not to seem pretentious about it

True Heart · Answer

Yes good to send. He may not have believed you without proof.

Pieman · Answer

Anything that's helpful is good to send

Was I wrong to send him this?

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