My girlfriend was molested by her father and I'm having trouble coping with it. What do I do?

I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. I have been dating a wonderful girl for 10 months now. We are both 22. We love each other very much and are hoping for a future together. We have a very healthy sex life, and usually have it pretty often. There came a point where we talked about our past and past partners. I was relieved to find out she only had sex maybe a dozen times total in her life before me with a couple past boyfriends. However, she told me a while back that she used to be sexually abused by her father. She claims it went on for years up until she was 19! As of now she lives at home with this man. I have never met him since he wants to never meet me. If she brings me up, he gets into a rage. He's a truck driver, so is rarely home. This gives me a lot of time to spend at her house. But lately he has been home for almost a month. I haven't been able to see her because he is keeping her away. I don't know what to do. I'm scared for this girl. He is with her almost all the time now, and who knows what is occurring in that house. I don't dare ask her about it because I fear her reaction. I feel so powerless. I want her away from him. And I honestly can't stop thinking about what he might be doing or what he's done to her in the past, and that makes me sick. Bad enough when I think about the guys she had been with but I have to worry about her father too! Any advice?

brandon2014-11-04T22:24:30Z

make her feel weak or alone and she's dead. I was abused as a child and talking about it is hard. The best thing for me was just hugs, not sex, being touched without being scared is the best feeling for a survivor and it helps her heal sexually, however if thats how her dad loured her into "Games" build up to it, a suden hug could make her think her dads there again. Make her feel safe but let her have her space. If you're invited over make sure she's closer to the door than you are if you can, she doesn't know if you're gonna betray her like her father did so let her have a way out. If she trusts you enough to say something, she likes you alot. So, let let talk and you need to listen. If she asks for sex, say yes, ! she wants to finish a healing prosses by letting someone become intimate with her 2 it's sex, enogh said. Just don't ask for it before she comes onto you first.

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Anonymous2014-10-25T14:25:48Z

That sounds like a made-up story that she invented to keep your way from her actual boyfriend or husband.

I'm assuming she's dating or married to somebody who is never home, but when he comes home then she obviously can't have you over because he would realize she was cheating on him.

I REPEAT: I don't think that the guy in her house is actually her dad. And I'm almost NEVER wrong.

You may want to hire a private investigator or at the very least google her address to see if her fathers name owns the house

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Singinganddancing2014-10-25T14:26:08Z

It's unfortunate that she is now an adult because if she were underage you could call child protective services. You could take a chance and call the adult protective services in your state and tell them your story, ask what, if anything, could be done to help her. Ultimately, in order to get help, she's going to have to tell someone besides you the truth. But she may need help to get away from him.

One thing I would do is make it clear to her that you are concerned for her safety, and also stop your physical relationship until this is resolved. She's too vulnerable now to be in an adult relationship with anyone.

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Anonymous2014-10-25T14:25:06Z

She needs to get away from him. That's the only way. She needs to get up the courage to leave and not let him keep power over her like that. Don't just be a bystander in this, please!! Help her. Offer her to move in if necessary. Just do something!

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Emily2014-10-25T14:37:15Z

Let her know you love her and your there for her and if it's possible maybe you can offer her to live with you to get her away from him and protect her

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