I'm 25. I've only ever had the one gf. It's been going on for about 4yrs now. Recently I found out she'd lied to me about a lot of pretty important stuff in that time. She kissed a guy, went out on a date with another. I'm not an idiot who's superclingy but I'm not a hothead either. She told me about these things, I say that's a plus and she never slept with anyone, I'm fairly sure. She says she was just being stupid etc and it's all over. Despite it all, my feelings remain the ssme. The problem is that trusting her is an issue. I want to but my brain just won't stand by and watch so I get suspicious and the memory just floods back which just serves to fuel my doubts. I'm fine now, I guess, but am I just kidding myself. Can I make it work or is my mind just slowly unravelling and given time will reach a breaking point, assuming all she said about loving me is true
Anonymous2014-12-16T13:44:30Z
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I know from experience that a betrayal by a lover is one of the hardest things to deal with. No offense but it sounds to e like she has an awful lot of excuses. Have you got to the bottom of WHY she did these things? Cause if she's bored, that's not bound to get better anytime soon. And I think you need to listen to your instincts. You don't trust her and your brain is trying to protect you from going through it again. And there is some truth in the saying, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Since you gave me advice, I'll do the same:) my first long relationship was last year and he cheated on me whilst I was on holiday (I didn't know for 5 months after as the other girl told me) and his exuse was he thought I did. Which I didn't. Then he created fake facebook accounts to talk to other women. And made up excuses for that ect.. Anyway there was 8 occasions throughout the year and hed come home t me saying he'll never love anyone else and treat me right and everything a girl wants to hear! I was even meant to move in with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is is she loved you, she wouldn't of touched another guy in the first place... Especially being with you for so long! I'd say your still young. Enjoy yourself whilst you can and don't try be with someone you constantly have to keep an eye out for. You'll realise it after a while. I finally did.
She cheated? It's time to teach her few lessons. Do the same, show interest towards other women in such a manner that she notices. Do it to an extent that she complains & then you can get it straight of how you feel when she does the same to you. Retaliation sounds insane but sometimes it works wonders. This will atleast bring you to an edge, either you guys will reconcile or you'll have an idea of what's best for you. Makes sense?
Sorry pal. Once a cheater always a cheater. You be an idiot to stick around any longer. By you even THINKING of it, shows to your Girlfriend that you are to weak to end things & she can continue to do whatever she pleases. I had the same situation when I was younger & trust me, staying her with any longer will cause more of a heart break than it has right now. End things on your terms before she really hurts you.
Trust me, it's only goung to get worse. Whenever your kissing her, holding her, you're always going to know she made love to someone else besides you.
She needs to know that if she messes up again, you two are done. She already proved to you she can't be trusted so once she slips up again, it will just keep happening.