I was sexually assaulted by my friends dad When I was 12 I've been depressed for 10 years. Finally told my mom about it, saw a psychiatrist, and she put me on Zoloft and it's not working. I can't hold a conversation with people, I have no confidence, no personality, nobody really knows how shitty I feel. im 22 and still a virgin, because I can't even talk to girls without being awkward or to nice. I really have no hope anymore. I try to put myself out there and meet new people, but the only time my mind is at peace is when I'm alone. I've lost all feelings for everything. I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending nightmare.
Anonymous2015-03-28T19:36:25Z
Hi there. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Sexual assault is never ok, and it is NEVER the victims fault. It is even worse when it is someone that you know like your friends dad. That can be really confusing and devastating. Would you be able to tell your psychiatrist that the Zoloft is not working? It might be possible for you to try something else. Otherwise, I think that some medications can take a little while to kick in, so it might be a matter of time. Conversations are awkward for me too sometimes, and that can be hard. Are you able to go to therapy? I know that it can be a difficult decision, but it has really helped me to build my personality and confidence. It'll be a safe place where someone can understand. Or you could try calling or emailing a helpline, like Youthline, just to get some of this out? You are worthwhile! You are an amazing person, and I hope that you can see that one day. I can't imagine how terrible things must feel for you right now, but you are strong. You can make it through this, and you'll be a better person because of it. I am an 18 year old girl, and I really like guys who are nice like you. Don't change who you are, because who you are is awesome! You just haven't met your person yet, but you're still so young and when you do find someone worthy of all your love they'll be so lucky! Then, you'll look back and find that it was worth the wait.
Please don't give in. Things are really hard for you right now, but you are stronger than this. I know that it's difficult, but you can do it. Stay strong <3
I appreciate the kind words, I've thought about doing therapy, but I'm a huge procrastinator so I'll try and get around to doing that. It's especially frustrating now that I'm getting older people don't tollerate my behavior as much as they use to, and I break down and cry over Any kind of criticism towards me, So some people just think I'm putting on an act for attention when I'm not. I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far without killing myself. I'm sorry you're going through similar issues though, it really sucks to feel this way.