Yesterday my husband decided to clean the apartment. We live in a small apartment. There was stuff everywhere. I came home from break helped cleaned a little & left for work again. Came home the place is still a mess. My husband & I had talk about money when he gets paid he's likes to spend I'm not a big spender. We have very little income & lots of bills. I'm a diabetic & we have run out of groceries before all just he likes to spend. I need to eat so I don't go into a diabetic coma. I came he's ordering a new phone. He just ordered one 2 weeks ago. I told him he's needs to discuss large purchases with me & we need to agree. He's gets mad stops talking to me while cleaning. Then turns up his music, play a game, look at his phone & everything, but listen. He will even walk out the room. It's hurts my feelings & if start crying he's yells at me. I try to talk things out then it's gets worse. He's got anger issues. I never lived with him before marriage I guess I was just to blind by love. When first got married he broke the closet door & had broken glasses everywhere because he got upset. Yesterday he almost slammed my hand in the door & hit my hand when I grabbed his phone. He has slammed my hand in the door before. He didn't apology until I kept bugging him he also slams and throws things. I this morning for work I got a small hug. Yes I did nag him a little & do whenever we argue. I am in the wrong? We only been married 5 months had a lovely wedding.
Keith2015-04-02T08:56:56Z
Favorite Answer
Lovely wedding a marriage makes not.
This guy has issues--and since you are the one working--you should have a separate bank account from his--since your health is your greatest asset.
Abuse should never be tolerated and he needs to stop or get reported.
This abuse and violation--should only go as far as you are willing to allow it.
Not having lived together before marriage--is no excuse for his treatment of you.
Abuses and Abusers--hardly ever get better--you need to find a way--to keep your money separate and get your medication way ahead of his purchases irrelevant to health.
Arguing and talking with him--will not solve this--the issues here are very serious--and needs to be dealt with--a third party--relative, police or separation--
What does having a lovely wedding have to do with anything? Your wedding is one day of your life and, for the most part, they're all lovely. If weddings were a barometer for healthy, happy marriages, there would be virtually no divorces!
On your wedding day, you married a violent, selfish, emotionally stunted man who neither respects you as his partner nor treats you as a human being. You can chalk it up to not living with him first but, the truth is, you'd be in very nearly the same place you're in now whether you'd married this guy or not. You'd still be isolated. You'd still be walking on eggshells. You'd still be afraid of your partner.
It's not going to get better unless or until you leave in a permanent way. Violent people are violent. Period. That violence will only continue to escalate. Remove yourself from the situation and do not return. Stay with your parents or a friend if necessary, and file for divorce. Not all marriages work out. Better divorced than battered or dead.
You are 25 and 24 but looking at ur other questions, doesn't sound like marriage was a good idea. Fighting from 3 wks in. Not a good fit for each other.
Try to work out a budget and stick to it. He isn't good with money and that will be hard to change.
Get separate bank accounts. That's the first thing. You, as you say, have to know that your savings aren't wasted on his frivolous purchases, and there's food in the house.
Having had a lovely wedding wasn't enough to make a lovely marriage. I suggest you reconsider this marriage of yours. Your husband clearly isn't interested in talking things through and he's violent towards you. Slamming your hand in the door is shocking stuff. Don't put up with it. Please leave him and find somewhere else to live. Your safety is paramount. Get out.
Not all marriages work out even if the couple live together first. You need to understand why your Husband gets angry, basically what triggers it. If it is something you say or do, he needs to tell you, before it destroys the marriage A course in anger management might help ! This is not something you can ignore, although it may not be related to your marraige, but work pressures etc.