How to politely tell a friend that you need to eat and not be talking ?

You mean you are all going to sit there eating without saying a word through the whole meal?
That may be the way you were raised, but that isn't the way most people were raised. Most people are taught that if you are sitting at a meal with others, you have conversation with them. I'm glad I didn't grow up in your house. In my family, we had some excellent discussions and learned a lot from my father who knew a lot and taught us many things while at dinner. I can't imagine us all sitting around in silence at dinner.

I fully agree that talking with food in your mouth full is rude, but it isn't necessary to talk with food in your mouth. You swallow what you have in your mouth before you speak. It's easy. If someone asks you a question or seems to be waiting for you to talk and your mouth is full at the time, you make a gesture indicating that your mouth is full and you can't talk just yet.

If you have trouble with your teeth and are self-conscious of the way you chew, then I'd order things that don't need much chewing when you are out in public, or don't eat in public at all.
Sorry, but I don't think there is a truly polite way to say "I'm busy eating, so don't bother me with conversation until I'm finished", especially if the other person bought your food. "Thanks for the food, now go away and leave us alone while we enjoy it". How would you like that from someone else? If what you want is not to talk to people while eating, I think all you'd have to do is say one of those things and most people wouldn't try sitting at a meal with you again. I certainly wouldn't....Show more

That's going to be difficult. Most people find it quite normal to talk during a meal, and they will find your preference for silence quite odd. Without the longer explanation, people will not really understand where you're coming from on this.

You could get some therapy to help you with your insecurities, or you can decide to never talk while you eat. In that case, you can make up a white lie, like, "I promised my husband that dinner would be just the two of us. Let's get together sometime next week. Give me a call to set something up."...Show more

Keep it simple. Tell your friend politely that when you are eating you do not like to engage in conversation and ask that she respect your choice. Emphasize you are willing to catch up over coffee at another time, away from your dining experience. Remember, you are not responsible for the reactions of other people, you are only responsible for yourself....Show more

Tell him ir her you need to eat and you don't have time to talk....Show more

Nobody talks with food in their mouth. U take smallamput of food, cjew ot fast, swallow, then talk a little, then resume eating. While u chew she talks, while u talk she chews. Very simple...Show more