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How to politely tell a friend that you need to eat and not be talking ?
I have a good friend,that,if we ever cross paths,she wants to talk. Now,i do not have a problem with that, as i am quite the talker,too. But I have issues when I'm eating out,I am there to EAT,& not talk.
First off: I have bad teeth,so I'm very self-conscious about my teeth, ( or lack thereof)
2. I have few back teeth,& it is hard for me to chew,& not look odd.
3. I was raised that the dinner table is not the place for talking: the living room is. We were to come to the table,Daddy say a small grace, & then we would commence to eat. In quiet.
4. I was raised to not talk with food in my mouth,or my mouth full. Period. It is rude and bad etiquette.
5. I was as polite as I could, considering she had paid for our ( my husband & I ) lunch. So I did as little as i could not to talk with food/mouth, as possible. But she insisted on carrying on a conversation while I was trying to eat. We had walked a good distance, (our car had a flat and we had not fixed it yet,so we had to walk to Wal-Mart and get the patch kit) & my husband is a diabetic and I am hypo-glycemic and we were HUNGRY.
While we were grateful for this blessing,we were not in the mood to talk.
If we see her in the same restaurant,she wants to sit with us,and we are not that sociable when we are out eating. We are there to eat, not talk. (And we don't eat out that often,) And we do not want to share our table.
So how do I give her the hint that I am in the mood to eat, and just that, without offending her ?
10 Answers
- Karen LLv 75 years ago
You mean you are all going to sit there eating without saying a word through the whole meal?
That may be the way you were raised, but that isn't the way most people were raised. Most people are taught that if you are sitting at a meal with others, you have conversation with them. I'm glad I didn't grow up in your house. In my family, we had some excellent discussions and learned a lot from my father who knew a lot and taught us many things while at dinner. I can't imagine us all sitting around in silence at dinner.
I fully agree that talking with food in your mouth full is rude, but it isn't necessary to talk with food in your mouth. You swallow what you have in your mouth before you speak. It's easy. If someone asks you a question or seems to be waiting for you to talk and your mouth is full at the time, you make a gesture indicating that your mouth is full and you can't talk just yet.
If you have trouble with your teeth and are self-conscious of the way you chew, then I'd order things that don't need much chewing when you are out in public, or don't eat in public at all.
Sorry, but I don't think there is a truly polite way to say "I'm busy eating, so don't bother me with conversation until I'm finished", especially if the other person bought your food. "Thanks for the food, now go away and leave us alone while we enjoy it". How would you like that from someone else? If what you want is not to talk to people while eating, I think all you'd have to do is say one of those things and most people wouldn't try sitting at a meal with you again. I certainly wouldn't.
- DanLv 75 years ago
That's going to be difficult. Most people find it quite normal to talk during a meal, and they will find your preference for silence quite odd. Without the longer explanation, people will not really understand where you're coming from on this.
You could get some therapy to help you with your insecurities, or you can decide to never talk while you eat. In that case, you can make up a white lie, like, "I promised my husband that dinner would be just the two of us. Let's get together sometime next week. Give me a call to set something up."
- LiverGirl98Lv 75 years ago
Keep it simple. Tell your friend politely that when you are eating you do not like to engage in conversation and ask that she respect your choice. Emphasize you are willing to catch up over coffee at another time, away from your dining experience. Remember, you are not responsible for the reactions of other people, you are only responsible for yourself.
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- Anonymous5 years ago
Nobody talks with food in their mouth. U take smallamput of food, cjew ot fast, swallow, then talk a little, then resume eating. While u chew she talks, while u talk she chews. Very simple
- Anonymous5 years ago
Just keep cramming food down your throat and ignoring her. She'll get the message and find a real friend.
- CoreyLv 55 years ago
its a friend....u dont have to be polite to your friends...just tell them to shut the hell up cause your eating
- Anonymous5 years ago
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=8dub8PF2d8E
http://fatheralexander.org/graphics/sects_e.pdf
http://cs629216.vk.me/v629216013/6f4c/Qji_GVZorQY....
http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/m_e_l_n_i_k_o_v/308...
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=0LUKFmZfOrs
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http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/guidech3.pdf