I wrote a poem a long time ago for girl A, whom I loved more than anything in the world. I planned to propose to her with this poem. But the relationship ended naturally and I never read her that poem. Now I'm in a relationship with girl B, and I plan to propose maybe using the same poem.
When I wrote the poem for girl A, I dedicated it to her from very deep in my heart and soul, and her name appears in it many times. In order to now dedicate this poem to girl B, I will need to erase girl A's name and write girl B's name. If you were in my place, would you re-dedicate this poem? Would you be willing to erase girl A's name? How would you feel about it?
Helpful info: - no arguments between me and girl A, and no hard feelings. We're still Facebook friends - over time, I lost feelings for girl A, but now I just have memories - girl A is happily married with kids - girl B truly loves me
2016-05-08T18:40:43Z
- A and B don't know about each other - i never said this poem to anyone
Anonymous2016-05-09T05:51:43Z
Favorite Answer
It's shady. No, it's beyond shady. I don't mean to harsh you, but it's full-blown, douchy sleeze, rotten, destroy-your-relationship, wound-her-forever, plunge-a-knife-into-both-your-souls horrid. The reason is it's not about her! If John Keats had written it, or Lord Byron had, or whomever, that'd be one thing. But YOU wrote it. For ANOTHER GIRL!
When you propose, she will—either then or at some later point—ask who wrote the poem if you don't automatically tell her. How do you imagine that going? You know that your implication and her inference will be that you wrote that poem for her for that purpose, for proposing. Your marriage—should she accept—will then and forevermore be predicated upon a lie incepted at the very act of proposal, and that's best-case scenario.
Write a new poem. Write one with her in mind. Because there's a worse-case scenario. If she were to marry you and then ever learn that you proposed to her with a love poem that you wrote for another girl who rebuffed you, another girl she doesn't know about but with whom you're still secretly "Facebook Friends"? Oh, there aren't words to describe the level of betrayal she will feel. That's the kind of sh*t that breaks trust FOREVER! Trust, not love, is the very foundation of a relationship of a marriage—we're talking bedrock—and when broken, it is lost, and it is next to impossible to repair or ever regain.
Do not relegate whom you want to be your future wife to being a stand-in for your ex. Do not break trust over laziness. If you could write the first poem, then you can write a second poem, one that is actually about her. If you cannot, if you lack the wherewithal, if she does not propel those feelings out of you, then maybe she's not the one.
Think about it, friend. Think! If you are the author of the poem you propose with, that poem will in no doubt end up at your wedding—in your vows, on the program, on invitations, in your wedding album, somewhere, or maybe even everywhere if it's either really good or really bad. It will come up all over the place, at anniversaries, dinner conversations, and get-togethers with friends, and to your parents, your in-laws, and your future kids. If that poem isn't an original you wrote for her but is this "re-poem," it will rear its ugly head throughout your marriage. It will be a lie that will pollute EVERYTHING! And if you think one or more of those many people I just mentioned won't have heard or read that poem and know you wrote it for "Girl A"? As Shakespeare said, "The truth will out." But even if it doesn't. Don't. Don't, man. Don't do it. Don't do it to her. Don't do it to yourself. Don't do it to your wedding. Don't do it to your marriage. Just don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.
With no offense meant to you, I'll assume B has little or no knowledge of A,,,BUT to second hand a poem onto a new interest strikes me as wrong. Good relationship/friendship or not, and even if neither know of the poem as is, you might want to consider Karma, and a wagging tongue, perhaps one day revealing, "I wrote this for someone else once"
If I were B, you'd be history. Certainly B being NEW might allow you to write NEW.
I would rip it up and start over.. Only speaking for myself but love is supposed to be forever and you said you loved A. Now you have B..Actually I would think hard about giving any poem to this new person.
She can feel your love.That should be good enough.. Skip the poem idea.