How much time is it normal for a 25-year-old to spend with his/her mother?

Question

My family and I live in the same house but in separate flats (it's a house with 2 flats). I have lunch with them every day, and in the evening I go to their flat to take a snack and spend like an hour or so with mum. Lately she's accusing me that I don't ever show up, and she is giving me silent treatment (she makes sure she is already in bed in the time when I always go upstairs). When I ask her to come over to my flat, she says that she tried twice, and I was on the phone both times so she won't come anymore. I feel emotionally manipulated by her. I'm 25 years old, I'm not a child! What can I do to solve this stupid situation?

cass · Accepted Answer

Well, maybe your mother feels lonely. She might be sad because her baby has left the nest (even if you do live close).  Going to lunch or a late snack twice a week or so (and the occasional call/text throughout the week) is okay. It would feel like a chore if you had to spend every afternoon and evening with her, specially if you want a social life.
 It would be nice if you sat down with your mother and explain to her that much as you love her, you can't spend every day with her now that you're an adult. But you'd still like to come over twice or three times a week. It gives you time to do your own things andto collect enough juicy gossip to discuss when you go to visit her.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like your mother is developing age-related dementia. Don't argue with her, just remind her that you visit daily, and that you, as a healthy normal adult, have a career and social life to juggle with her needs.

Pearl L · Answer

if your mom cant remember that youve been there then shes got a problem and needs to see a neurologist, thats not normal

Jenny · Answer

I don't know what to say about this.

? · Answer

Find another place to live.

How much time is it normal for a 25-year-old to spend with his/her mother?

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