Does it make sense to write this: “the vehemence of the Capulets’ anger could not be controlled”?

The sentence works as it stands, but without the context of the rest of the paper that's all I can tell you.

Gregory and Sampson (of the House Capulet), however, started the hostilities in the first place, biting their thumbs at the Montague boys Abraham and Whatsisname for no reason. They had no excuse to be angry, as they were the ones who were jerks in the first place.

So mechanically it makes sense, but in the larger context of the story it doesn't....Show more