Could someone please critique my poem?

Apprentice

You need a mad life to prepare
the militantly hip.
To deal with chaos tools are rare,
it takes some time to get a grip.
The city is the last frontier
between the heart and humankind,
but you have there all needments near
if out of mind you'd yourself find.
A working student athlete poor
and major in some arcane art -
that life would be the choice of fewer
than I can think - and a good start
if madness fun were to explore -
so you would maybe long years on
return where you had been before
to pique love's faithful since the dawn,
to be a colorful old salt
where love's a smaller younger field -
then love's ubiquity t'exalt
though peers to disillusion yield....

Lapiz Dominoes2018-07-19T00:33:45Z

Favorite Answer

you got me at lines 7 & 8 (for some unaccountable raison d`etre)
then I found I like the entire thing dammit
having spent some months on the high sea as a child
which was excellent preparation for sometimes finding myself quite at sea

I give you this one ^"^ & no the salt ain`t lost its savour, nor saviour (obviously...).

Battle axe2018-07-19T00:36:05Z

okey dokey robin

il show yall the ropes

i want to teach men
the sense of their exsisstance
which is the superman
the lightning out of the dark
cloud man

you know the rest

though peers to disillusion yeild.....

Preistly vestments show, in accentuated form,
all the features that have been shown to be evidence of a servile
status and a vicarious life