Does she even want me in her life?

"I’m fine with us being cool and being able to catch up from time to time but it’s like i give you an inch and you want a mile. Like i’m only willing to text and catch up from time to time but i don’t see us having a close friendship. Also i never said that i didn’t want you in my life or that we had to cut each other out of our lives forever. I feel like you think to extremes and misinterpret what i say. I definitely get annoyed with you and don’t always want to talk to you but i know you’re a good dude and i’m not trying to completely close you off but i can’t handle your need to talk a lot but that doesn’t mean i’ll never want to talk to you again. I just need you to not have any expectations with me. I’d want us to at least be friendly. So that’s where i stand. I think it’s best that we don’t text so much while i’m here or for you to feel the need to know what happened in my day. I think you need to focus on you and stop telling me about your progress because my experience is that you tell me and i don’t see it. So maybe just let me see it in person for myself in hawaii instead of trying to convince me that you have changed because your words haven’t matched your actions before so that’s why it always annoys me. But yeah just thought i’d let you know where i’m coming from rn"

We were long distance and I see her for two weeks in Hawaii at the end of August for 2wks. We haven’t spoke since the 20th. Yet she likes all my ig post and views my stories?

2018-08-02T20:15:31Z

She likes all my ig post and stuff but ive been giving her space cause i dont want to seem too pushy. The reason for the breakup was because I was clingy. Idk, I miss her but at the same time im not sure if she even does. Let alone im nervous to visit her in hawaii because im not sure how it will go between us. Im staying with her and I cannot change my flight nor find places to stay at.

2018-08-02T20:41:23Z

Also will she think of giving me a chance after hawaii?

anonymous2018-08-04T22:23:28Z

She wants you only as a friend

30

Anonymous2018-08-04T18:33:14Z

i think there are a lot of small penis asian men that white women don't like but good luck though on whatever gives you happenis......

11

Sammy2018-08-04T18:01:44Z

She doesn't know what she wants, but give her some space. Scarcity creates attraction... I mean it!

When you visit her, play it cool and seem like you don't care if she's not into... Good luck!

10

Anonymous2018-08-03T20:35:51Z

Basically she wants a friend, but not one who overcrowdes her.

She feels you overwhelm her. Since YOU expect too much from your friendship with her.
She wants some distance. Some mystery. Not non stop communication.

When she tries to explain how she feels, you don't respond to her wishes, by making the necessary changes in your behavior.

The question is can you cope? In the event this is all she wants from you?

Can you get a handle on your desire to chitchat nonstop?

You've got to acknowledge at the outset, that in order to maintain her friendship, you will have to constrain your need for constant chinwagging.

Essentially she wants you to lead a life independent of her. She doesn't want to be THE focus of your life.

"Also will she think of giving me a chance after hawaii?"

Don't focus on that. As this implies you has not paid heed to her words. As she says, this "annoys" her.
Forget about that. Do as she says. Find something that ignites your passion, other then her. Don't crowd her. Thus let her see you've changed, i.e. listened to her.

"I miss her but at the same time im not sure if she even does."
Think you can assume she does register your absence. As you say:
"She likes all my ig post and stuff"

"i dont want to seem too pushy." What you term 'pushy' she interprets "clingy".

The reality is she does want to stay in contact with you.
BUT it may never be in the manner of "think of giving me a chance".
So to be on the safe side emotionally speaking, since it hasn't been working, think not of that.
Instead focus on becoming, achieving what you want.

31

Alishia2018-08-03T00:58:06Z

Just give her space and distract yourself. You may need space to really evaluate. I would just take it one day at a time and that way when you talk to her she can actually miss you

51
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