Does she even want me in her life?

She wants you only as a friend

She's not interested in you romantically, and it seems like she doesn't even want you as a friend....

She says that she wants you to "at least be friendly" but in the same paragraph says that she doesn't want a close friendship with you.

If she's going to send mixed signals this way.....is this really someone who you want in your life? Do you want to continually figure out where you stand with her?

Maybe it's a good move to just let her go. Even when it comes to "being friends" she's still unclear on that, and if she did leave you for being "clingy" and she continually brings it up, I don't think that the relationship is going to last very long.

It seems like she has a very negative perception of you :( It could be best to just end things altogether with her and moving on to new people, whether it's in terms of friends or dating.

She made it plain she only wants you as a friend.

i think there are a lot of small penis asian men that white women don't like but good luck though on whatever gives you happenis......

She doesn't know what she wants, but give her some space. Scarcity creates attraction... I mean it!

When you visit her, play it cool and seem like you don't care if she's not into... Good luck!

I would stay away from dathoe. She is trying to sidle up to the biggest status symbol she can, and you're only going to be used if she doesn't have what it takes to land a higher status life. But make no mistake about this: you can NEVER go wrong if you put yourself first, and don't ever fall for the biggest, most sure-fire, disappointment-filled lie of all time: Love. It is fake and does not exist.

Basically she wants a friend, but not one who overcrowdes her.

She feels you overwhelm her. Since YOU expect too much from your friendship with her.

She wants some distance. Some mystery. Not non stop communication.

When she tries to explain how she feels, you don't respond to her wishes, by making the necessary changes in your behavior.

The question is can you cope? In the event this is all she wants from you?

Can you get a handle on your desire to chitchat nonstop?

You've got to acknowledge at the outset, that in order to maintain her friendship, you will have to constrain your need for constant chinwagging.

Essentially she wants you to lead a life independent of her. She doesn't want to be THE focus of your life.

"Also will she think of giving me a chance after hawaii?"

Don't focus on that. As this implies you has not paid heed to her words. As she says, this "annoys" her.

Forget about that. Do as she says. Find something that ignites your passion, other then her. Don't crowd her. Thus let her see you've changed, i.e. listened to her.

"I miss her but at the same time im not sure if she even does."

Think you can assume she does register your absence. As you say:

"She likes all my ig post and stuff"

"i dont want to seem too pushy." What you term 'pushy' she interprets "clingy".

The reality is she does want to stay in contact with you.

BUT it may never be in the manner of "think of giving me a chance".

So to be on the safe side emotionally speaking, since it hasn't been working, think not of that.

Instead focus on becoming, achieving what you want.

Just give her space and distract yourself. You may need space to really evaluate. I would just take it one day at a time and that way when you talk to her she can actually miss you

She seems like she just doesn’t want anything serious atm.

Apparently she doesn’t know what she wants, and doesn’t want to cut you off completely but at the same time she wants her space. The best thing you can do is wait for her call when she returns. It might be hard, but if she left you for being clingy then you have to show her your not, so she hopefully changes her mind when she returns.