Help reword this to sound better. "There on a boat sat Jerry and a blonde, was this Candice? did he settle for her out of hurt?"?

tellitlikeitis2019-01-24T00:33:18Z

Favorite Answer

There on a boat sat Jerry with a blonde. Was this Candice? Had Jerry settled for her after his previous hurt?

Knightingale2019-01-23T17:52:27Z

That’s ..pretty awful man. Is this homework? Have you learned descriptive writing yet? Is this A ship? Row boat? Are they out at sea, on a lake, in a river? How’s the weather? Is it day or night? Does Jerry know how he got there? You literally have NO DETAILS!
Example piece:

The water slapped steadily against the hull of their little row boat sounding like a hollow war drum. Stars, reflected on its unsteady surface, added to the ambient lighting of the full moon. Even the fireflies dancing on the cool breeze couldn’t detract from the scene before him.
Jerry shifted uncomfortably causing the boat to rock. The girl before him blushed and tucked a silken strand of golden hair behind her ear. He had always thought of her as beautiful, but were these feelings real or was he just on the rebound, trying to recapture what he had lost before his heart had been broken into a million excuses as to why he should run away while he still could.

pianoman2019-01-23T04:19:15Z

Did Jerry settle for a blonde who he thought to be Candice, out of hurt.

Anonymous2019-01-23T03:37:43Z

"A blonde, presumed to be named Candice, sat with Jerry a boat.
Had he selected her, because of his inner pain of loneliness?"

a blond is a fair-haired male, and
a blonde is a fair-haired female.