Do you ever wish success for people, but also feel yourself being spiteful?
I'm 26 and possibly on my way to success, but not there yet. I'm not working retail, but my job doesn't pay well. Hourly manager. Low paid one. I have a bachelors.
I cheer other people on, it I also get jealous of anyone more successful than me. I think of job interviews that lead to nothing, and how I think I should be making it. I get anxiety about applying to things. I feel incompetent, even though I am a good worker. At the same time I don't think I'm better than anyone else. It'a a hard thing to explain. I'm upset with how former and current employers have treated me, but also wish the best for them.
linkus862019-09-26T16:58:32Z
I think you are choosing your words incorrectly. It's not spite, just envy. You don't wish them ill will, you just wish you had their job, or life or with you chose the same path to get where they are. Because sometimes you can look back and remember that option existed. And then there is that underlying anger that the playing field isn't exactly even because of the strengths you don't have, but others do. That is just plain old envy.
Never spiteful, though sometimes envious. With my comp sci degree, I was working in my chosen field 3 months after I got out of college. Some of my fellow students had better jobs, but as long as I was moving upward, I felt fine about my choices & prospects.
I was never jealous of anyone I worked for. I wanted to be them. My goal was to be as valuable as possible. I wanted to make the company rely on me because that was my value. Over time as personnel changed I found myself taking on more advanced roles, up to the executive level. I'm retired now.
Whatever your plan with this job is, be as valuable as you can. It can only help you. If you don't like the job, look for a better one. But still do your best while you're on the step you're on.