Could I have handled this better?

Question

My husband and I are taking my son on a small weekend trip for his 21st birthday. My Mom came over the other day and put a check in my purse for me to find, it was a little contribution to the expenses of the trip that she wanted to surprise me with.  The next day I cleaned out my purse and didn't see the check and I must have thrown it away.  Today she asked me if I got the check (it's been several days and I hadn't acknowledged it).  I told her no and we determined that I must have accidentally thrown it away.  I apologized over and over, I feel like an idiot. She seems irked at me. "I guess that's what I get for trying to surprise you!" And has not offered to give me another check.  I don't NEED the check, I booked the trip based on what I could afford, but is it odd that she's not offering to write another check? It's not like it was cash that I accidentally threw away.

bluebellbkk · Answer

Your question doesn't make it clear whether you ever SAW the cheque at all. Did you see it, and then it got lost? or did you never see it at all, and are relying on your mother's word that she did in fact place the cheque in your purse?
I think your answer to this might help us solve the problem.

marys.momma · Answer

If your purse is anything like mine, I might never find a small piece of paper that someone else put in there.  Between the store receipts, the crossword puzzle pages, the day's mail, and so on, chances are it would never be noticed.

Recently my husband came to me and showed me a check from his father (now deceased) which would have gone a long way to propping up our budget at the time.  Oh, well ...

Perhaps your mom felt that you no longer needed that money, since your trip was already over.  I imagine she'll be generous when the next gift-giving occasion rolls around, and wiser about it too.

? · Answer

maybe shes afraid you'll lose it by accident again

linkus86 · Answer

You could have handled it better.  You could have thanked her when you found it rather than waiting for her to call you.  You could have admitted to finding it before and being careless rather than allowing her to believe she was partly at fault.

Because she didn't owe the money to you, she is under no obligation to replace what was lost.  And it sounds like you were apologetic for losing the check, but didn't offer appreciation for the gift in the first place, thanking her for it or her effort to surprise you.

Diana · Answer

T wasn't smart that she secretly put a check in your purse. Maybe we'll intentioned but not a good idea.

Could I have handled this better?

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