My Dad is bipolar and my childhood was messed up. He only stopped being abusive because he got diabetes and declined physically.
I'm 27 now. Things aren't perfect, but it's better than my childhood. I still struggle with all those bad feelings. Feeling trapped and helpless. The want for more, but not being able to fix your life. I always wonder if those feelings are always there.
Care411
You experience emotion harder and deeper than everyone else
Can you read people (emotions, attitude/negativity) kina sense it
Are you alone in a room full of peoplelonely buy don't want to be around people
have a lot of your relationships been chaotic?
Did people stop targeting/exploiting you when you graduated highschool or it go on?Do women isolate/other wise emotionally abuse? Did it stop or continue?
Are you moody, snipy or b*tchy?
Are you clingy with the partner that feels really really good?
Are you hyper vigilant? You on the look out for danger?Can you be manipulative?
Will you give everything to most people even when they give nothing back? --Put others above yourself?
Do you have negative intrusive thoughts, "Dumb, worthless, loser, MYFAULT"?
Even if you want it how does being near no people feel kind of icky?
Do people you exaggerate, are an "attention wh*re" or too sensitive a lot?
Is there some kind of building pressure that increases until released?
Push comes to shove you have good intuition about a lot (not always)?
You attract toxic/negative people does it seem?
Do you blame yourself always and for most everything?
You change your look a lot or not give a crap about it at all?
Is positive reinforcement big/huge important to you?
Is your preference to be more creative and artsy than nerdy math type?
Can you feel tension/pressure (ick/bad people or vibes) in a room?
Are your dreams pretty crazy/great or wild more often than others?
Are you more spiritual than religious (pagan, earthy, witchy/zen)?
Are you really passionate about many things/many hobbies? Are they "weird"?
With the right people/partner is intensity, adventure, excitement good or nah'?Do you have weird memories other than trauma memories/triggers?
Do you feel empty, void of purpose, overbearing or a strain on others?
Do you assume people won't, don't or can't like you before you know?
Are you a troll?
I'd argue if we made you think about it for 24 hours. It should be yes, probably/ya or absolutely to all but 1 (possibly 3)I work with women with BPD, C-PTSD;PTSD and BD. Without treatment 30 + every year until about 65-70 it gets much worse. I don't want a trophy just saying I sort of get it.If you are bored and actually want to be open, talk or here opinions rather than the vague BS: listenforyou@protonmail.com
Fireplace
Yeah I'd have to say I'm the same. I have those feelings even still, and I'm 50.
WinterRose
Sounds like a "poor me" story!! I'm not going to be easy on you because others have been and you never changed. Just why have you avoided a good therapist to help you through all of this crap? Other ppl have done it, and have survived. What makes you so special, so you and can "sit and moan" about how how tough life is for you? Yeah well, if you don't do anything to succeed, then I guess it is. Go and interview several therapists or a counselors, and you choose the one you connect with, and then talk your heart out and see if you don't get better and feel a whole lot better. 27 is not too old to start a new Life. Good Luck!