I feel like I’m near the end?
I’m only 23 but I feel like I’m near the end of my life. My life savings are plummeting because I have a spending problem, my car is on its last leg, my teeth are falling out of my head due to years of drinking cans of soda every day. I just feel like it’s the end. I have some more cash to put out a musical album next year but then that’s it. I’ll have nothing left in me. I feel like I’m on borrowed time. I’ve been depressed for many years and alone for many years, basically my whole adult and adolescent life. Spent time in a mental hospital a year ago and it just feels like I’ll be like a repeat felon going back to prison all the time. Back to the hospital. Back to the finding a therapist because this one doesn’t work. Back to changing up my medication and being used like a rat in a lab. I see my parents and how they lead a healthy life and I just feel like I can’t achieve that and never will be able to. I don’t have life left in me to keep going. Nothing to fall back on. No way to make good money. I work at a restaurant currently but have tried working in trades. But that led to me having a traumatizing experience where I was verbally abused for a year and a half of my young naive life. My options are very limited, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep surviving.