Cant get over my ex?
I’ve dated others in the past , it was fun I thought I was in love , it ended I was sad for a bit and then bounced back quickly. Then I met a boy who showed me what true love looks like. The funny thing is we never technically dated, we were still exclusive, confessed love and did everything a couple did . He was the first person I’ve ever felt safe with. He made me see life differently, I woke up excited, our deep convos inspired me, and he always knew what to say to make me feel like a beautiful soul. I loved him for him even his flaws. I lived to see his smile light up a room, the way he laughed, the kindness he showed others, his charisma. Then his life got in the way. He was in a sort of survival mode, and considering he moved to America as a kid, and had been on his own since, he coped by pushing me away. It hurt because I just wanted to help him but I gave him his space. Eventually I couldn’t do it anymore because it was destroying me. We still loved eachother but the timing we agreed, wasn’t right. He wanted to remain friends but I couldn’t do that to myself. It’s been 6 months and I still can’t move on (even though our “relationship” only lasted 9 months).
Since then I’ve found countless others that are genuine nice guys that I just can’t commit to. As I’m laying in the arms of a dude who resembles a model who truly cares about me, I can’t help but think of my ex’s smile and how I wish he was here instead. I feel pathetic and guilty for not moving on.
I’m perfectly happy being single, and have focused on myself a lot. My problem is I’m passing up some great very attractive guys simply because it doesn’t feel right like it did with him.I want to feel like that with someone again, and I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship that doesn’t provide the love I desire. My question is will I ever find that . And if I’m being honest with myself I miss him being in my life.