Why is she like this?!?

Question

Me and my roommate weren’t really talking before I went home for Valentine’s Day. I met a guy at my job while I was home for winter. 
Valentine’s he asked me to be his girlfriend. In the beginning my roommate was really nosy about him because were friends. But then she only wanted to hangout so I could tell her stuff about it and it got weird. I asked her to hangout the last week before I left. She didn’t ask to hang out that whole week before and she even went home the weekend before and didn’t tell me when she was coming back. 
When I went home I let her know because I’m a good person lol and she told me to keep her updated on my date. after our date I told her he gave me some flowers and asked me to be his girlfriend which is what happened but I didn’t go into detail because I know she is nosy. She answered and said I would have to tell her every thing when I got back. And I think she’s waiting on my situation to fail because I feel like she competes with me with her boyfriend sometimes. I told her I was going to stay longer while I was with her and she sounded like she had an attitude. We are roommate’s at our college and it’s 4 hours away and I’m currently home. Today she sent me a Snapchat asking when I’m gonna be back. It’s kind of annoying because I know she only wants info from me plus she didn’t talk to me for a couple of weeks while I was in our apartment. I still feel bad even though she goes home every weekend. I won’t be back for 2 weeks, should I feel bad?

Mike A · Answer

Some people just want to compete. It sounds to me like this is exactly what is happening with her. Also, some people just want a front row seat to the juicy details about someone's life, but they don't actually care about that person. I would also venture a guess that your roommate may, in fact, have a crush on you, and secretly wants you single because then she has you to herself. She may be making up everything about the boyfriend she has, or might just be putting the relationship up on display to hide her feelings about you.

The best thing you can really do in this situation, is speak up when you're uncomfortable. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same understanding of boundaries, and maybe she grew up with overly-inquisitive family members. Though that is no excuse, and that does not mean you are obligated to just go along with her interrogation.

As far as her asking when you'll be back, it sounds to me like she might be planning company around your return. I would say that if you really want to find out, give her a loose return date, then show up a day before she's expecting you. Though you should be prepared for the unexpected if you walk in. I have come home unannounced only to find my roommate having noisy sex with their bedroom door open, and porn on our shared laptop screen.

And that's the best advice I can give.

T J · Answer

Stop telling her anything about your BF

Wiggles the worm · Answer

Buy her a Dominos and get down

Why is she like this?!?

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