Starting to wonder if I shouldn't just do it. I don't see much of a future for me. Thoughts (read below)?

Question

I have court tomorrow. Mediation to see if I should go to jail for the heinous crime of picking up a knife out of the silverware drawer and showing it to a guy who was threatening me in my own home.

The thing is, these last few weeks, my body has suddenly started going through hell. Severe joint pain and stiffness, moving from joint to joint, eventually leaving me pretty damn close to immobile.

It's a safe guess I have rheumatoid arthritis, but we need to do labs and schedule me with a rheumatologist to be sure. But if I go to jail tomorrow, that won't happen. I'll be without my little bottle of hydrocodone, and I'll be immobilized with pain. Again. But this time in a cell where they refuse to help me.

Should I just OD on insulin and die on my own terms?

? · Accepted Answer

No, Shadowfire, you should not do that.  Pain and fear don't produce the most reasonable thoughts.  Hang on longer.

Forrest Toney · Answer

I need you . Because O am so lonely for always having to tell everyone they have to obey all of Jesus' sayings in order to avoid hell

? · Answer

Rheumatoid arthritis can go into remission.  A close relative of mine was confined to a wheelchair at seventeen, but regained mobility and was able to run a business and have children.  It doesn't go away, but it can respond to some treatments.

Michael · Answer

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through these tough circumstances.  I can only hope that you will find meaning and purpose in your existence and that you will realize that there is light at the end of every tunnel.  But please, talk to a counselor or mental health therapist before you do anything that you can't come back from.  Call the Suicide Hotline if you urgently need to speak to someone who can give you wise, thoughtful, advice.  I wish you all the best and I hope you will make the right decision to keep going.

Anonymous · Answer

This has nothing to do with religion and spirituality.

Anonymous · Answer

There is an upside to YA closing down after all.

Starting to wonder if I shouldn't just do it. I don't see much of a future for me. Thoughts (read below)?

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