Starting to wonder if I shouldn't just do it. I don't see much of a future for me. Thoughts (read below)?

No, Shadowfire, you should not do that.  Pain and fear don't produce the most reasonable thoughts.  Hang on longer.  

I need you . Because O am so lonely for always having to tell everyone they have to obey all of Jesus' sayings in order to avoid hell

Rheumatoid arthritis can go into remission.  A close relative of mine was confined to a wheelchair at seventeen, but regained mobility and was able to run a business and have children.  It doesn't go away, but it can respond to some treatments.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through these tough circumstances.  I can only hope that you will find meaning and purpose in your existence and that you will realize that there is light at the end of every tunnel.  But please, talk to a counselor or mental health therapist before you do anything that you can't come back from.  Call the Suicide Hotline if you urgently need to speak to someone who can give you wise, thoughtful, advice.  I wish you all the best and I hope you will make the right decision to keep going.

I could of sworn I previously saw you say that suicide is cowardly and selfish (or something along those lines). But well, dying on one own’s terms certainly seems better than not dying on one’s terms, at least to me. It certainly seems like a right everyone should be allowed to make for themselves

That's ultimately your choice.

Shadow, Shadow, Shadow.  I used to think  you were a lapsed Christian.  Now I don't know what to think.  Why don't you stop trying to go it on your own and put your faith in Jesus Christ?  I will pray for you.  Go ahead.  Slam me down with your comments above if you wish.  It's your last chance to do that.  Sorry about the arthritis.  I'm in the same boat although, thankfully, I get some relief from tylenol. Ask the judge to make provision for you to get your medicine in jail.  

This has nothing to do with religion and spirituality.

NO DO NOT harm yourself. GOD LOVES ALL OF US.

You had so many personal problems, Then why did you waste your time on this website instead of fixing them?  I think your personal life is a mess. 

There is an upside to YA closing down after all.