What do I do when I think my husband is going to leave me?
Hi, I'm looking for the experiences of others, maybe as advice? I have been going through cancer treatment, and am now taking hormone blockers. I really don't have any sexual feelings for my husband, and he says he knew that would be the case. I have read a lot lately about the number of husbands who leave their wife during the cancer diagnosis. We're in our late 40's. I can see something in his eyes that is different, and he won't talk about it. It scares me.
Foofa2021-04-13T14:46:16Z
Sometimes it's necessary in a relationship to overcome a lack of interest for the sake of the relationship. This doesn't mean you need to force yourself to have penetrative sex. But if you feel well enough to do other forms of sexual intimacy it might go a long way in dampening your fears that your spouse will leave you out of sexual frustration.
Men get married with the expectation of sex. What do you think he is interested in you for? If he has been providing for you during this difficult time, why is that? Because he loves you? And you cannot provide anything for him, except ignoring him? Get over the cancer diagnosis, or sacrifice your marriage. It's really a simple fix. Wake him up tomorrow morning by emptying his balls. Then tell him that you need him. That's all men really want.
Hard for you. Him, too, no doubt. What do your doctors say about it? You do need to discuss it, I would think. What are your other feelings for each other? DO you love each other? Sex is just one way of expressing marital love; how about learning some massage techniques together. No doubt many others have similar experiences, have you considered couples therapy or counselling? I do hope that you can explore the possibilities together.
If he won't talk to you about what you perceive to be a problem, no one here has magic words that will help you. Speak to a marriage counsellor, alone if you have to. My late husband went on dialysis. I had to speak to a social worker before he was accepted. Why? Because of the number of spouses who walk away from a dialysis patient.