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Any professional "head shrinkers out there" Big-time question on personal thoughts concerning former romances
Dear Pro:Many years ago, during my high school and a few of my college years, I dated a certain female almost 4 years. Due to attending different colleges, and my military service of 3 years, I didn't see her for a long time. I did talk to her about 4 yrs after our split to try and get her to date another male I was home on military leave with, but she refused. I had plans on switching dates, and being with this female, but my pride wouldn't allow me to ask her out after the rough treatment I received during our split. She became a pro"special education teacher" in CA, and I continued my military career, a high ranking field grade officer until 24 yrs retirement, then worked for the Federal Government until this year. She retired from teaching also this year. I've always "hated" her and also "loved" her all these years. I'm widowed but can't contact her for she never left a forwarding address, she never married. Is this possible, the thin line: love/hate all these years?What to do?
Especially for luluska - I did see her, just 6 months back, at her mother's funeral. Bad place, & timing. Spoke to her nicely and added sorry about her parent. She avoided my eyes, but I noticed they were almost fire-red. Because of our past or because I dared to visit the funeral parlor? She hadn't seen her mother in over 10 yrs at that point. Frienda tell me to forget and say "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". Yeah - right. Not acceptable.
1 Answer
- 2 decades agoFavorite Answer
Hi. I might be wrong, but I think most of the love/hate stuff is only in your head, you know. I mean, it's not like you two have had an actual relationship in all those years, right? So, I'm not saying you haven't really felt love and hate, only the person you've felt them for no longer exists. You both grew apart a long time ago - if you were to meet again, you probably wouldn't even know each other anymore, you'd have to get to know her all over again to sort out your feelings. And you might realize then that she's probably been that way (that would only be new to you) for a while and you couldn't possibly feel love or hate or both for her.
Okay, I'm rambling.
What to do? Now that's a good question. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know how you get over your history. But is this something that bothers you all the time? Or are you just wondering how she's felt since then?
