Happily married people only!?

I can see this is really a worry for you right now. You havea few posts with underlying concerns about the marriage.

It sounds like you are in love and many of the feelings are normal. I would ask your fiance to go to pre-marital counseling with you to be reassured that you are ready for marriage. I am sure he will want to reassure you of your fears and will go for the betterment of your relationship.

Of course it's normal to have doubts. It's hard to REALLY know what the future holds and how you or him will feel twenty years from now. But if you two love each other and have realistic ideas for your future together then you should be fine.

No marriage is all roses, there will come a time where he is just bothering you, or vice versa. But if you keep your communications with each other open then those little tiffs won't turn in to knock down drag out "what was I thinking" events.

Also you shouldn't go into a marriage thinking that once you get married you or him HAVE to change. That is a surefire way to end up alone. But all in all, everything you are feeling is normal. And trust me I understand completely about the pack rat thing. You just have to ask yourself are the minor irritations enough to take away the man of your dreams.

It is completely normal to have doubts. I was so scared before my wedding. "What if he cheats on me?" "What if we get married an just hate each other?" Then, I thought about our relationship, and was set at ease. You say you question his fidelity. Has he given you reason to distrust him, or is this just a fear for the future? If he hasn't given you any reason, it's not fair for you to think he's going to do something, just because men do. If he has done something to lose your trust, you MUST talk to him about this before getting married. A marriage will not work without trust.

You say that he drives you crazy......well, guess what? So does my husband! Everyone in the world is different, and husbands and wives are no exception. My husband is a homebody, I like to be out doing things (shopping, dining, etc.). He's a night owl, I'm an early bird. But I still love him, despite and actually because of these differences! Unless you sit there and think that there is something about your fiance that you just CAN NOT live with, I would say you're going to be alright. Remember: we all have our little quirks and personality traits that make us different. Its accepting and loving those things that make a marriage work. You shouldn't try to change somethng about someone to make it more of what you want. You should look at the big picture, and not pick over tiny details.

I think that you need to have a heart to heart with your fiance and tell him your fears. You know, he's probably having some doubts himself, but you guys need to work through this together! Get it all out there and hear what he has to say. Communication is key, and letting your fiance know about your doubts can help start this marriage off strong.

Good luck!

It's normal to doubt your going through something that everyone goes through. In the end you just work throught it. No one knows if in 20 yrs what's going to happen enjoy the time that you guys have together and if you want to get married and start a family then go for it. I had those same doubts as you did and sometimes I still get a little freaked out. But I work through it and I talk it over with him. If something that he does annoys me to the point of no distraction we discuss it and usually there is something that drives him crazy about me and we work on it as a team. We have been married for almost 7 years now and I got married when I was 19. Everything is going along smoothly and were ready to have kids now just haven't been blessed with them yet. There were rough patches and everyone has them. Try to make the best of the things and whatever you do try not to let money issues break yall apart. Because that's one of the main thing married people fight about. My husband and I got lucky and money problems have brought us closer together instead but that's because we talk through it. We still both want more! ( But who doesn't ) Some of his annoying habits haven't been able to change but that's him and I love all of him. If he is the right one for you. You will know and love him no matter what. It's okay to be feel like this is the main thing I'm trying to say and I got off course sorry. Best of Luck and Congratualtions on the upcoming marriage.

Cold feet are entirely normal. From your question, I can see that you really love your fiancee because you are willing to accept his being a pack rat, and I bet he has a lot of more redeeming qualities. Being able to accept each other as they are, even the possibility of an infidelity down the road, is real love. Success will depend on how strong is that bond between you, and I am willing to bet once again on love. I have been married for 20 years now and I know that no matter what, I wouldn't change nothing in my sometimes rocky, sometimes boring, sometimes tiresome, but always wonderful MARRIAGE!

You cannot worry about what people are going to be like in 20 years time as you will never want or be ready to commit to anything. People always look at attractive members of the opposite sex, if people say they do not do this they are simply lying. The trust element is that they will do nothing about it. The other thing is that you will never find someone who is exactly the same as you, if this is really what you are looking for then the best choice is to remain single as yourself is the only person exactly like you! You are just panicking about everything, calm down and look at what you have and if it is worth fighting for. You also have to remember that you will not stay the same either, cause life changes as time goes on.

(If i thought that 4 years ago, me and my partner would be writing responses on here, i would have thought i was doomed!)

Yes it is normal to have doubts. No matter who you are with there is always a possibility of a wandering eye in 20 years or 2 years, or less than that! Sometimes my eyes do wander, but they always end up gazing in my husbands eyes. My husband is the neat freak and I a pack rat (he says), we have been married 6 years and we do still bicker sometimes over the cleanliness (or lack of it) of our home.

You must learn to not only accept, but even love his faults. They are part of him, and you love him! That his eyes may wander in 20 years time - big deal. Keep him interested and he will only look, not touch.

Nerves are quite normal and it's a good thing you don't just jump into a marriage without a thought.

I had doubts myself when I got married, I was 18, pregnant, sick and thought it might be the biggest mistake of my life. It turned out to be just wonderful.

Those emotions are completely natural insticts. Life is full of excitements and challenges. If you don't take the risk, life wouldn't be so interesting. Keep him close to your heart and make him happy so he won't wonder around. You know what they say, if a man isn't happy at home, he'll look somewhere else! As far as his dirty laundries, you both will adjust, in time.

Perfectly normal. Compromise and communication are the two keys necessary to a happily ever after scenario. Keep communication open and compromise as your main tool and you will be fine. Everything else, love will take care of for you.