Do i need counseling? what if i want to avoid that?

Hello Miri: First of all, you are not nuts. You are absolutely and totally normal for feeling the way you do. I am an adult and my parents divorced when I was about 14. I was very angry with my mother (almost hate) and felt very sorry for my father (and mad that I felt like I had to be the adult and babysit him) because he didn't want the divorce nor did he know how to handle it. However, as I got older, I learned some of the reasons why my mother left my father---not that it made going through it any easier---trust me, it didn't---but, I did learn something from it and that is to treat people the way you want to be treated and to be the best person you can be by treating people the way you want to be treated. A very important rule to know in life is that "You can not control what other people do but, you can control what you do and how you feel. Believe it or not, everything is mind over matter. You just have to tell yourself that when you start having those feelings. It's okay to be mad, sad or angry but don't let it have control over you. Just tell yourself that you are only going to allow those feelings to be in your mind for 5 minutes and then, you must make yourself think about something more positive. As far as going through the divorce, that is something that you will have to endure and go through. Just understand that when you feel like you have no one to turn to and that you are all alone in the world, that is just not true....because we have all felt those same feelings when our parents divorced. It seems like it sort of makes you feel isolated and like your roots have been pulled up out of the ground (sort of like a flower planted firmly in the ground that just got picked out of the garden and now you have to find where you belong). What worked for me was praying and finding out that there is a God and he really cares about you and what you are going through. Even when you feel you have no one to talk to, you can always turn to God and talk to him and believe it or not, he really does hear you and will guide you and direct you. I know how hard it is, but please just try and be patient with yourself while you are going through this. It is probably one of the most hardest things you will ever go through in life and it really stinks but, I DOES GET BETTER. I PROMISE!!!!

As far as counseling, I went to several counselors before I actually found the right one that I could connect with so, I would say it's probably a good idea to go to counseling because it does help to have someone to talk to, especially if you feel you connect with them and that they understand where you are coming from. Hang in there and tell your parents "You don't want them to put you in the middle anymore." As far as your mom's new husband, I can relate because my mom left my dad for a guy who was a total alcoholic and he was very mean to us and would swear at us and many other things too. If you can, I would try and talk to a counselor who is experienced with divorces and who you can relate to--one who understands you. Take care and God Bless You.

You are not crazy. It is very right of you to wish them to be together again because they are your parents and you love them very much. You have lived with them your entire life and now the whole thing changed on you. You are not nuts at all. I do recomend counciling and counciling is not for crazy people. A counciler is just another person that is there to talk and listen to you so you have some one there for you and to relese all your problems on. Its like your best friend that is always there for you and listening to you no matter what your going through. They are the same thing the only difference is this. They have had proffesional training about this sort of things and know what to tell you and how to make the hurt inside of you go away even if it may take a while. Plus it is hard to talk to some one you know close about certain subjects but easier to speak to some one you don't. A counciler is a good thing and I think everyone should have one no matter how good of a life they are going through. A counciler doesn't always have to be a proffesional but can just be some one that you look up too. I recomend some one older so they have more experiance and you have to make sure your speaking to the right person. You know it is the right person when that person your speaking to really does care and takes there time in order to listen to you. You just need some one to talk to about this and some one that will understand so you can relese all this stress you have been going through for the past 4 years. I really hope this helps and I hope you and your familly will feel better soon.

You're not nuts. But rather unable to accept your parents divorce. I dont understand how you can feel that you had e/thing yet you were always in the middle of fights. Witnessing any fighting is horrible. And why is counseling something to avoid if it can possibly help you accept what you dont want to accept... You need to make some hard choices here, if you really dont want to feel as you do.

There is nothing your parents CAN say to you. Because they've made their decision. You must now make yours to improve you own happiness.

You are not nuts. Just normal. I think you should speak to someone thoug. My hubby's parents got divorced when he was 5 and his mom always slammed his dad and his step dad would plan trips to amusement parks when it was time to do things with his real father. As an adult his mom still pulls this crap and now he won't speak to either one of them because it really hurt him and he grew up never talking about his feelings as they always blew them off and now he has real issues because of this so get help while you are young, just so you can talk to someone who can give you good solid advice

You're not nuts. It's normal to feel this way. You shouldn't avoid counseling. It will really help you work through all of this.

Everbody as there owen answer.my answer to you is.If you need a friend outside of the world you might want this number and web site.Adult outpatient services.734)785-7701or www.guidance-center.org.I dont think of them as doc.I gust think of them as friends.You have to take that step.

you are not nuts it will be a great idea to talk to a theripist also its a good idea to talk to both you parnts if this is bothering you so much

talk to your friends and other family members, talk to me, avoid conventional counseling unless absolutely necessary!

no that's completely normal u don't need counseling it's normal

If you have to ask if you are crazy, you are probably not.