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I discovered porn in my 14 year old son's bedroom. What have other parents done in a similar situation?

I have suspected he has started masturbating. Should I ignore it, make a big deal of it, or just talk to him about it?

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  • Favorite Answer

    If you want to embarrass him, make a big deal out of it. If not, just ignore it. He is 14, this is a normal thing for him. What is wrong with masturbating? Would you rather he be experimenting with girls? For now let him have his privacy. But you might want to have that talk soon. Don't make an issue of it, just say something like, "Hey, son; When I was cleaning your room/gathering clothes (or whatever it was you were doing in his room...) I found some things that make me think we should talk about sex." I told my son that I understand that it is normal for his hormones to be raging out of control at 14 and if he had questions, I preferred he talked to me about it so he could get the straight dope on it. I did not want him learning it on the street where they are not as likely to tell him about AIDS and other STDs. We had serious chats about it and I told him I would be a hypocrite if I told him "DON'T have sex at your age." He is now 20 and is still a virgin. I suspect that won't be for much longer - much to my dismay - but he has a girl that he is talking about marrying. My only baby will soon be out of my home and in his own! 8>(

  • 2 decades ago

    We got our first computer when our son was 13. He was so smart, but didn't know about the browser cache. So I looked in there to see what he'd been up to and discovered that he wasn't gay. HA!

    Oops, what to do? Can't really prevent it. So I (the father) just talked to him about it. I said hey, real people don't actually do those things. We were able to discuss it because I was being real and didn't freak out. Honesty goes a long way toward getting them to pay attention to and consider what you are saying.

    As for the masturbating, it won't kill him and there is nothing you can do to stop it. In times past, he'd have been married last year. (So it could be worse!)

    If he wants to reduce his suffering, tell him that it all starts in his mind so that's where he can stop it. The fantasizing. It's a long story and he may be too young, but there is a free mental exercise at link below which teaches how to observe thoughts objectively so you don't spiral down into the morass of dreamland.

    Source(s): www.fhu.com
  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    I discovered porn in my 14 year old son's bedroom. What have other parents done in a similar situation?

    I have suspected he has started masturbating. Should I ignore it, make a big deal of it, or just talk to him about it?

    Source(s): discovered porn 14 year son 39 bedroom parents similar situation: https://shortly.im/YjEMy
  • 2 decades ago

    Congradulation,you have raised a healthy, normal 14 yr old child.I have 2 boys.My oldest waited until he was 18 yrs old,and out on his own before he had sex,my youngest is 14,and I find sex sites on my computer history all the time.If you make a big deal out of it you may scar him,your best bet is to let it go,and never mention it.He is a normal teenager,and is only curious.Let it go,and when he is older you will have something to rag him about.I would rather my boys look at porn material,than to be out there on the streets.As long as the porn is in his room,you know hes gonna be there looking at it.God bless you,and yours.

  • 2 decades ago

    I think that masturbation is completely normal. Unless you are religious and don't agree with it i see nothing wrong with him masturbating. You should just leave him alone. Perhaps talk to him about actually having sex, but as far as masturbation goes keep in mind that it is healthy, normal, and will probably keep him off of real sex. At least it wasn't gay porn.

  • 2 decades ago

    masturbating is normal for kids of tht age, hell i'm 29 with two kids and i still masturbate!!

    if u ignore it, things can get hard for u knowing tht ur son masturbates and u'r not doing anything abt it.

    if u make a big deal out of it, u'r gonna scare ur son and make him feel tht having a dick is of no good! :D he'll probably wonder why u'r making such a big deal out of it, bcoz all his friends do so ;)

    talking to him will be a good idea. explain him tht masturbating is not bad, but doing it on a regular basis may lead to deteoration of the bones and tht'll be b bad news whn he becomes of age. tell him to get a girl-friend, if u'r willing to allow. having a girl-friend isnt bad, coz at the rate kids are going right now, the lawful age for amrriage will shift to 15yrs anytime soon!

    to sum up, be a friend to ur son, so tht he shares all tht he does with u, but dont be over friendly and watch porns with him!! hee..hee...

    Source(s): SeLf!
  • 2 decades ago

    With or without the porn, if he is doing it, he will continue. This is a normal occurrence at his age. The same thing happened to me, when I was about that age, and my dad confiscated the goods. Then when I was about 24 or so he gave it back to me to see if I would be embarrassed I suspect. Don't worry about it, we all go through it.

  • 2 decades ago

    Throw the material away and talk to your son. Porn is addictive to many men and has destroyed marriages. Be careful and advise him to also.

  • 2 decades ago

    hell i would just ask him to share the porn mags with me besides if you take them from him he would just go and buy more and find a better hiding place .

    and if he is masturbating think about it he aint doing nothing that thousands of other young boys are doing and take my word for it " IT WILL NOT MAKE YOU GO BLIND" like the parents always say.

  • Romeo
    Lv 5
    2 decades ago

    That's normal, he is normal. . .I started may be at 12. . .

    Talk to him quitely about it, be his best friend. . .

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