Want a good clean lawyer joke for a presentation. Help please.?

Ok. A young lawyer at a new firm is approached by his senior partner. The Senior Partner looks at him and says, "Son, I need you to run this settlement check over the the Mills factory behind the woods. The roads are snowed in, so you better cut through the woods. And make sure you run, because if we don't settle up this dispute by 5 pm, the deal is off and our client is sunk." The young lawyer, wanting to make a good impression for his boss, assures the senior partner he can do the job, takes the check, and runs off into the woods.

Around half way through the woods, the lawyer runs into an enourmous bear. Fearful for his life, the lawyer sticks out his arms to defend himself; at which the bear growl, rips the check from his hands, and swallows it whole. The lawyer, realizing what had happened, gets up and speeds off to the Ranger station. He runs in and tells the Ranger what had happened. The ranger, knowing full well that he "can't have no check eatin' bears harrassing young lawyers" in his woods, gets his shotgun and asks the lawyer to lead him to the bear.

When they get to the spot of the attack, there are two bears present. The Ranger looks over at the lawyer and say, "well, which one is it." The lawyer looks and say "I'm sure its the one on the right?" The Ranger looks at him closely and says, "I don't know... that one is a male bear, and they tend to be timid, and the females, like the one on the left, tend to be a lot more vicious." The lawyer insists though that the male bear is the one that swallowed the check, so the Ranger shoots it, guts it and looks inside the stomach. To the lawyers amazement, there was no check. With that, the Ranger shots the female bear, guts her, looks into the stomach and finds the check. He gives it to the young lawyer, who takes off to the factory with the check in hand.

The moral of the story: if a lawyer tells you that the check is in the "mail," don't believe him.

What do you call a lawyer who just won a multi-million dollar class action lawsuit? Partner. When an attorney approaches the judge on the bench with a glass of cognac, Triple Sec and lemon juice, you know what that's called? A sidecar (play on the word "sidebar"). Hope these jokes help...good luck!

Bob Krenshaw, a lawyer, dies. He goes up to heaven and there all of the angels are lining the walk. Thousands of cherubim and seraphim are chearing him. Bands are playing. Confetti is thrown. He gets up to St. Peter and says, "Thanks, but I was just a regular lawyer. What's this big reception for." And St. Peter says, "Well, this is the first time we've ever had anybody who lived to be two hundred and forty years old." Bob says, "Two hundr3ed and forty? I was sixty-three." And St. Peter looks down at his book and says, "Oh. We were going by your billable hours."

1st secretary

A plane full of lawyers just plunged into the ocean.

2ND Secretary

That's a shame.

1st secretary

Our boss missed the flight.

2ND secretary

OH That's a crying shame.

What do you call a thousand dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A Good Start

is that one too gruesome?