God, I am in so much pain!?

This is one of those cases where the question will help you more than the best answer. The fact is you will do whatever you want. We all did. We all will. But, you cant have if you dont ask, and you can't ask if you don't know what you want. Really want.

Then answer your own question with another question as honest as possible; Can he provide it for you? Be prepared and don't be to hard on yourself if the answers in your heart don't seem to cooperate with your lifes plans. You should be more forgiving of yourself than of anyone else and ask yourself, 'Why would i want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me', instead of 'How can i hold this relationship together long enough to endure just one more day of misery'?

Find a mirror, stare into it closely, reward yourself for being in front of it, it is not easy, and forgive yourself for not being a better friend to you. The mirror will know. It will know that you two have grown distant from eachother. It will know that you have been busy catering to the likes and wants and needs of someone else. It will know the truth. It might even ask you where you have been, but it will listen to you in your hardship.

It will not be easy, that's how you know it's probably the right thing to do.

I hope this answer just changed your life. Peace.

In order to move forward you need to forgive and let go. I

know it is hard to do that but you need to. Some people tend

to get relaxed in married after some months or years. Some

even forget that a marriage is work. There is alot of work

to be put into it to make it work right. Before getting married alot of couples make the wrong move by not building a strong, solid relationship before marriage. so when they get married thinking everything is going great, little do they know everything is not ok. Try using positive words.

Appreciate the little things he does. There are many things in a marriage you must learn to let pass. Letting it lay. You stir up mess it will stink. So when all has been said and done don't bring it up again. Forget about it. Instead

you are holding on to issues. Let them go. If you don't you will get sick.

First of all, buck up and quit feeling like a screw up! It takes TWO people to make a marriage work!! You need an attitude change! A Girls Night out!

Loving someone completely is one thing, but if they don't feel the same way it will never work. You have lost him and from the sounds of it he isn't coming back.

Try NOT talking to him, do some new things with yourself, get a grip on you! Find out who you really are and maybe, just maybe, you will like yourself again, maybe you will find the person that he fell in love with!

If he thinks you are a screw up...maybe by finding yourself and moving on with your life he will see that you can move ahead and be independant.

It just may be the thing you need! Good Luck!

The best thing to do is too stop thinking of yourself as a screw up. That won't help matters at all. Things like this happens all the time, its not your fault. It does take two to get married and two to get a divorce. Someday you will move on and maybe find someone new. Life is too short not to. Give yourself sometime to morn the relationship but then get up and get out there. You sound like you have a beautiful heart, with that in mind you will get through this. Stay strong honey, we all here for you.

The only thing you can really do is try to keep yourself busy with other things that you enjoy doing. Whether it be reading books, going to amusement parks with friends, whatever you would do and perhaps some things that you would have normally enjoyed doing without him anyway.

Are there some things that he didn't want or like you to do, while the two of you were still married? Like maybe he didn't like it if you talked to a certain type of people or any males at all, maybe he didn't like it if you so much as left the house for a couple of hours without him.

My point being, find this as being your free point. Your chains are broken, take advantage of it! Do whatever you want, whenever you want without having anybody to answer to. It will probably feel soooo weird at first that you don't have to explain yourself to anybody at all. But after a while, it really starts to feel liberating and you are your own boss and you realize that hey, I can deal with this, it doesn't hurt my feelings at all to not have to answer to anyone and just be myself.

I mean of course, stay responsible about it though, don't just go out on binge drinking missions or anything like that because that will just ruin you. Just have some good clean fun without him and you might find that you are much better standing on your own.

Get out of the house and try new things. Easier said than done, but try not to talk to him- it only keeps the wounds fresh. Sitting around the house only makes it worse because you have too much time to think about things. You are not a screw up, things happen for a reason- you must something better in your cards waiting to be discovered. Good luck sweetie and keep your head up so you won't miss those special things that are right in your face.

I guess it would help to know why it fell apart. You never said. You say you are a screw up but don't say why. I think folks would be happy to try and give you some answers but without knowing the story i doubt you will get serious answers anyway. We are not mind readers help us out here with the story line!!

Change your whole attitude towards life.

In the morning read inspirational stories or uplifting quotes. Listen to good music,etc.

Everyone you meet, shake their hand and say something kind.

Write three letters a day to people at work or someone who means a lot to you. It will be returned two fold and others will start seeing your positive attitude and want to be around you more. Make it your goal to do something kind for someone every day.......be it the gas station attendant, someone at work, a neighbor. Doing kind things for others makes us feel better. Make a list of things that you have always wanted to do. Little things and big things. Go to a restaurant you have never gone before......do new things.

Change your life..........create a new one today. What an adventure you are about to embark on .........have fun!

I know it hurts and it is going to take a long time for that pain to go away. But you have to get your head together so when you talk to him he sees you are not falling apart. He does not want to see you or hear you with your head all messed up that just pushes him further away. He wants to know that you are being strong, this way he can have a civil conversation with you. Believe I know, when my husband and I separated he wouldn't talk to me unless my head was right, then when I got my head right one week later he came home to me. I am not saying your husband is going to do that, but maybe if he sees you getting your sh-- together he'll think about at least trying to work things out so step off the pitty pot and get on the straight and arrow road to get things working.

i want to answer you seriously, but first you didnt say exactly how it fell apart. do you mean you have some troubles and your husband woundt help or understand? or your husband has affair and he wouldnt like to talk it? in both case, it is a test for your husband real personality, if you said it is good for long time, i am sure it wouldnt break so easily. communication is important, if you feel you or him cant, one way is not working, cool down some whiles and talk again. good luck