I want to hear your best penguin joke!?

a penguin was having car trouble so he stopped at the nearest mechanics, the mechanic told him to go grab some lunch while he waited so the penguin headed off to the diner across the street. when he was finished he came back and asked the mechanic if he found the problem, with out looking up the mechanic said it looks like you've just blown a seal, and the penguin quickly replies oh no thats just mayonnaise.

This isn't really a joke- it's a true story, but funny and it's about penguins. In Australia, there's an exhibit of Fairy Penguins which are a particularly small species of penguin. Some civil rights group decided that the name wasn't politically correct, so the zoo had to change the sign on the exhibit to read "small penguins". True story. Ridiculous, but true.

Q: Why don´t you see Penguins in Britain?

A: Because they´re afraid of Wales

A man driving a van spotted a crashed truck, with penguins hopping all over it. So he loads them into his van. The police see the van, and pull it over. "What's with the penguins?" The man said "I saw them on a truck, and picked them up." The policeman said "Take them to the zoo." The trooper sees him again later, and the penguins are in bathing suits. "I said to take them to the zoo!" "I did. We had so much fun, so now I'm taking them to the beach!!!"

A drunk walks, or rather staggers, into a bar and says [slurs] to the bartender, "Bartender, how tall is a penguin?"

The bartender replied: "about two feet, why?"

Replies the drunk: "Well, then you better call an ambulance ... I just ran down a nun!"

what did the penguin say to the chicken?

"why did u cross the road?"

Whats black & white & red allover?

A sunburnt penguin (it's the only one I know)

What goes black, white, black, white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

i ****** a penguin

i dont think that there is one...