My husand and I did not have any sex for the last 4 years I trust that he definitely has no affair outside.?

Oh shut up all of you, just cos they haven't had sex for 4 years doesn't mean by any stretch of the imagination that he's getting it somewhere else, for the last 4 years of my marriage I must have had sex twice, there are emotional reasons, but it just happens.

He's probably just got into the habit of cracking one off in the shower before going to work therefore leaving nothing in the libido for later.

Don't listen to these losers, try going into the bathroom and helping him crack it off.

You sound to be a very intelligent woman. who already knows what she wants but is afraid of change. You need to get out of this marriage because it's killing your spirit. Your son will understand and if he's already trying to use emotional black mail then he knows that there is something wrong in your relationship with your husband. If your that worried about what is going to happen talk to your husband. If you want to try and work things out for the children that's a good thing but if it doesn't work then you have to look out for yourself. Hope you find the courage to do what is best for you. And what ever happens everyone who truly loves you will understand.

If everyone behaves the way the two of you do, then marriage counsellors will be out of a job!! :)

Go on. Go see one with your husband. Don't give up on your marriage just yet.

But if after that you still find yourself in a marriage that's not working, then think seriously about what's best for the children.

It may be that the best for them is for the marriage to be dissolved, because the children cannot be happy in an environment where their parents obviously cannot stand each other. It has a negative psychological impact on them.

But please consider everything carefully before you act.

Simple, GO AWAY. There is no such thing as staying for the kids. All you are saying is that you are not independent and that is a sin for today's woman. Of casue he is having it, this does not require a rocket scientist. In fact you two have no marriage to talk about so do the honourable thing. From what you say, you really need a man and there is someone out there waiting for you, you know that!!

Yahoo answers is a nice site, but problems like yours are not supposed to be solved by people who don't know you and your husband. Most of the issues of a marriage are better solved by simply having a good long talk with your partner. This way you will know the extent of your problem and if you should head for a divorce or reconciliation. Marriage is not perfect, this is a fact, it's up to the couple to solve their own problems.

As I tell every woman...if he isn't having sex with you then he's having sex with someone else.

You know how I KNOW it's time for you to leave the relationship(and that you want to)? Because you didn't mention trying to resolve this issue with your husband. You're obviously not interested in working this out, but you want to stay for the kids. I didn't realize that people still did that.

Let's review....you don't talk to your husband...you don't have sex with your husband. Sorry, but yuor marriage has already broken up and I'm sure the kids see this. Just be adult enough to have teh divorce convo with your husband and get on with your life. you deserve to fall in love again and have someone fall in love with you. Don't you agree? Your kids will be fine. Divorce him and start living again.

sex isnt everything ut it is a reflection of how the relationship is going. have you talked about how you feel with your husband? Its important to do this just in case something you are unaware of which is causing him to ignore you. there are two of you in the relationship. you hav to communicate. if you are past all this and really only stay for the children i suggest you find the courage to end the relationship. Dont stay in a unhappy relationship for the children. They are very perceptive and will know something is wrong, also do you want them to grow up thinking this is a normal healthy relationship if you dont even talk. Its better for them to have two happy separate parents than two together who are unhappy.

If u really aren't happy which u clearly are not-- why stay? I'm sure u will be sick of hearing it but its true

Leave move on and make sure he will always be there to take care of the children-- if theres someone hurt in all of this it will be the child/children

U take care of the kids and yourself and don't even look at another just yet-- heal the wounds first

Look for your soul mate...

look for the one...

look for anyone...

you cant live like this for the rest of your life, sooner or later you will break down and will not be able to take it anymore...

if it was me, i prefer it to be sooner, as for the kids, you will both (you and the Husband) will come out with something, also may be your unconscious attitude will effect on the surroundings negatively…

you might be older or younger than I am, but our lives are really short and a one shot, and it better to regret something you did than regretting something you didn’t…

honey what is above is not only related to sex, its every hours and moment we live, and its us to choose…

good luck…

Are you not at all concerned about your husband's welfare? Sounds to me like he could be severely depressed or worried about something. Have you thought to drag yourself away from the mirror and ask him what is wrong? As for when you go out - well- if men are blatantly asking you for no strings sex, it may be time for a little image makeover - enuff said

sorry, but you did ask