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what should i do?
i live with my boyfriend, or whatever... we totally rushed into the relationship. i love him and care about him... he's talking about buying a house and getting married but we don't get along for longer than 24 hours at a time. when i tell him that i'm not gonna marry him, he laughs and says "yeah right" or something like that. i go to church, he doesn't believe in Jesus... conflict. he just had surgery on his knee, i've missed 2 days of work to help him at home AND been late the last 2 days because i got his lunch, dinner, ice packs, snacks and drinks (water and juice) ready so things would be easy on him during the day. right after work, i go to school. i am tired. i don't even get a thank you... he is wearing on my patience and my nerves. i want out sometimes because i can't see spending my life with someone so inconsiderate. i cry all the time out of frustration. i don't have the means to live on my own... i don't know what to do.
fyi... i had a room mate. we were friends since 2nd grade and were separated after high school. she was (and is) dating a married man. we could not come to terms of agreement regarding her situation and how much time he spent at our place. long story short, my boyfriend became my only option. living with him was not the plan at all. while i do understand that people judge off of an assumption without understanding of someone's story, i don't appreciate people making said assumptions... i am working on my relationship with God. my question was for suggestions, not anyone's judgement. thanks to those of you who understood that. i appreciate your input.
6 Answers
- 2 decades agoFavorite Answer
wow, this one seems to have struck a sore spot with some people - let's not judge ok? I think the best thing to do would be to get out of living with him, if you can't do it on your own maybe you can find a room for rent or find a roommate? It seems that the most important thing right now would be to get out of the situation you are in with him as far as living together and take a second look. once you don't feel so "tied" to him you might have a clearer perspective.
- 2 decades ago
You are going to have to take a moment for yourself. Sit down and think about your options.
Option #1 You can stay with this jerk and be miserable for the rest of your life because it is not going to get any better. Experience tells me that once he marries you he is going to be 100 times more inconsiderate and demanding.
Option #2 You can move back in with your parents or one or the other parent.
Option #3 You can get a roommate and get an apartment.
Option #4 You can get an efficiency apartment and live on your own. Because you are in college, you do qualify for food stamps and other government assistance.
I'm sure if you take a moment and breath you will come up with 100 other ideas. Whatever you decide, do it for you. The sheer fact that you are working and going to school tells me that you want good things for yourself and you can achieve them.
Good Luck
- 2 decades ago
Spreejo,
I can hear your cry of confusion and call for help. God hears it, too. In fact, God might have been the one who let you start to feel desperate so that you can do the right thing - get help!
You mentioned your church; I suggest that you go to the church leadership and admit that you are in a predicament. If they are truly Godly leaders, they will be gracious. If they are judgemental or belittling, look for another church. Remember, however, that graciousness does not necessarily mean that this will be easy. In fact, the right path for you will be the narrow, less-traveled road.
Anyway, take this for what it's worth. I'm an ordained pastor and counselor, so I know that there is hope. Feel free to email me if you want to chat more.
- drsteve362005Lv 62 decades ago
Great Christian morals there - moving in with your boyfriend
Very respectable - maybe you should move out, grow up, get your head on straight, go back to chuch, then start thinking about relationships like this.
Before you start giving him a hard time about "believing in Jesus" just take a moment to think about it. You are hopping in the sack and having sex with him outside of marriage, then have the gall to criticize him for "not believing in Jesus". Have you thought for one minute about how YOUR actions also might say that you "don't believe in Jesus" either?
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- Anonymous2 decades ago
you people drive me NUTS...
You do everything in the reverse order... then push the envelope, and then WHINE when things aren't right...
I live with my boyfriend or whatever?
We totally RUSHED THINGS?
You're not ready to have a relationship with a CAT.
And your CONTEMPATING MARRIAGE?
You don't even LIKE EACH OTHER... and you've not had enough time together to even KNOW it.
- City slickerLv 52 decades ago
you've already made a decision, to leave. you just haven't done it. find someone you can split rent with or sacrifice some things to get your own place. Good luck.