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I am 59 years old. My wife has not wanted to have sex with me for 4 years now. What shoulid I do ?

I am a 59 year old male. My wife has not wanted to have sex with me for 4 years. Seems like I never have enouf money. Whwn we run out of money she thinks it is my fault and always wants more. She is a queen of her red hat club and goes out with the girls once a month. I nwver have the money for the things I want and set at home all the time. I am retired and on disibility. My wife has not had to work over part time for years. My wife thinks I should kiss and hug her. But I haven't felt like it since we stop having sex. I don't think I want to leave my wife. What should I do ?

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  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't think the money issue has much to do with not having sex for 4 years.. right? Well, to be blunt, maybe your/she's bored? You should probably think of ways to get the spark going again.. Maybe make a romantic gesture, do more activities together, etc.. If your wife wants you to hug her and kiss her there's not much of a problem with her.. Kissing and hugging lead to sex.. It's just a long dryspell you went through.. I'm sure you guys can work things out. Best of luck.

  • 2 decades ago

    Why don`t you do what got her to be yours in the first place???

    Get off your butt and take her for a walk, Pick her some flowers, Show her she is special. Go to the park,

    You left her on her own all those years (((((blessed because she only had to work part time what a crock of crap)))) and she made a life and kept busy and NOW because you are home all the time. She is just suppose to give up the things that do make her happy. And set around with you.. What about what she wants??

    Sounds like all you want is a place to dump a load. No wonder she isn`t interested.. How romantic....

    Sex requires romance.. Candle, flowers, soft music. Cuddling and hugging and making her laugh and dancing and playing and having fun. Put some life into it. Run a warm bubble bath, Give her a massage. Leave her love notes.. DO SOMETHING!!!!

    You get back, what you put out.. If you put nothing out, YOU get NOTHING back. Why then act surprised???

    OH, And just for your info. I married my honey when I was 16 years old and we have been happily married 35 years. Oh and my husband is disabled as well as me.. . I do know what I am talking about..

    If you put in a tenth, of the effort, you did when you was trying to get her, You would get a 75 percent return..

    IF MOMMA AIN`T HAPPY, NO ONE IS HAPPY...

    Good luck..

  • 2 decades ago

    For starters you should both sit down and work out a budget to stick to, try credit counselling. Try making money from the internet. Also, you should try doing things for her, like run her a bath with candles at the end of a stressful day. Keep up the housework so she doesn't have to do it, women always appreciate that. Do little nice things for her to show her how much you still love her. If you have a hobby try making her something from the heart. Most women associate sex and love, if she knows you love her still she will maybe be more receptive to having sex.

  • 2 decades ago

    Well first of all what is her reason for not wanting to? And how long have you been married. I am sorry to say but it sounds like the flame burnt out. Everybody needs a little love and compassion sometimes. That must make you feel awful. If I were you I would sit down and try to talk to her and ask her why. Ask her if she could compromise a little. If not maby try counsel ling or try to spice up the sex life by trying something different. She might just be bored of the same thing..Be creative make her a nice candle light dinner and put little love notes in the bathroom and in various spots in the house. Try and spice it up a bit....Good luck to you...

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  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    first and formost your important. 2. you deserve the best even though you just making it. man get real wake up. go bowling or sit at a coffee shop 24hour one. go fishing and maybe on a boat bay fishing it works for me. sit down and tell her how you truly feel. there are also other people your age just waiting to have someone to talk to. life is too short live now we are not promised tomorrow. you love her or you wouldn't put up with the bull. you life is what you make of it so be happy!

    Source(s): my life my experience and my grandma's advice she's 84
  • 2 decades ago

    Get counseling. Be firm with her of your expectations of your marriage.

    If she continues this. you need to move on and find a lady who wants sex and wants your companionship.

    Sounds like you either need to work on the relationship. or walk.

    I did it myself. Best thing I ever did

  • 2 decades ago

    If you still love her then try counseling. And check out the web for great porn sites. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I feel your pain.

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    i feel so bad for you

    not being laid in 4 years....

    brother we must go to the extreem

    i just hope u have enough money for alot of vodka

  • 2 decades ago

    try to save a few dollars and pay her for sex

  • 2 decades ago

    my husband says thats what they made porn shops for go meet someone that will give you some

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