What is the best reason you ever heard for calling in sick to work?

TRUE STORY:

MY CO-WORKER CALLED IN SICK WITH THE FLU AND THE NEXT DAY HIS FACE WAS FRONT AND CENTER ON THE COVER OF THE NEWSPAPER.

HE WENT TO A YANKEES GAME AND THE PAPER SHOWED HIM CHEERING IN THE STANDS. MY MANAGER JUST HAPPENED TO PICK UP THE PAPER THAT MORNING.

SO BUSTED ......... AND SO FUNNY!!!!

You should say in advance, "I have purchased airline tickets starting on the 21st (or whatever)" and that ought to cover it. Or work out with a co-worker to trade one of his/her days off for one of yours. If you start lying, and calling in sick when you are not, no one will believe you when you really are sick (or have problems with the baby, or whatever).

My wife cut my penis off and threw it out the window in a vacant lot. I'll be in as soon as the police find it and the doctors reattach it.

my mom has died 6 times. it used to be good for about a week untill they started making you bring a copy of the obit.

I simply stated that I was sick

I actually had an employee call in and say they had a broken back and would be in tomorrow.

That you're really sick...as in lying in bed, green faced, not being able to work!!!

just told the boss I was sick

my dog ran away

i cant find my work shoes