is buying a lap dance cheating??

definitely cheating. Your man shouldn't want "meaningless pleasure" from anyone BUT you!

It's cheating because the physical intent is there--for him to have an erection from a sexually charged dance. He may not ejaculate at the moment, but if he goes to the men's room and masturbates to completion, it's a pretty safe bet he's not thinking of you at the moment.

Where does meaningless pleasure stop? Can he give you 100% assurance that if he keeps going there, he won't have the same girl do the lap dance? Or that after a few dances, he won't invite her for a drink? Does he tell you that those places have side rooms where more physical activity can take place although it may not be a generally known fact?

If it bothers you, that's enough reason for him to stop. It's a matter of respecting you. If lap dances really turn him off, and you're not adverse to learning how to do it to please him, then incorporate that into your repertoire of bedroom activities.

Just another thought--tell your husband you want to go with him to one of those places and watch while he has a lap dance since it's so meaningless. See what he says then.

In your particular situation I would NOT consider that cheating. Like you said, it was VEGAS, it was a one time thing, and you never intend on doing it again. It's not like you went out there and had sex with a prostitute... that would be a little different. You obviously care about her very much or 2 years later this wouldn't be bothering you like it is. I say you should tell her, so that it's off of your conscience. All you have to say is something along the lines of, Honey, I did something 2 years ago that is really bothering me now and I feel like you should know so that if you ever heard about it from someone else, you wouldn't be surprised. Let her know that it's bothering you feeling like you've kept something from her and that you just want to be honest because you respect her, (wouldn't you want the same respect?). If she loves you and is a mature woman I would think she'd forgive you and appreciate your honesty. You said she's conservative so yeah, she may be hurt just a little bit. But I think the relief you would feel from being honest and not having to worry about it anymore would be worth it. Good luck :)

Yes it's cheating!! A lot of time these dances end in the male having an orgasm. That alone makes it cheating. What are his thoughts on another man rubbing on you and giving you an orgasm with your clothes on? He should respect you enough to not engage in this behavior ever again. It is so wrong and it's dangerous for your marriage.

No its not cheating, if you think it is next time go with him and see what it is like and then make a rational decission on weather you consider it cheating, Until You see for your self and see his reactions, this is going to eat at you for a long time. Next time he goes to a strip club go with him, there's nothing wrong with that,. Or why don't you try giving him a lap dance at home?

I agree that if you're not comfortable with it then it's cheating. There's never any black and white with this kind of issue, people will always differ in opinion but what's important in your relationship is how YOU feel, if you are hurt then it's a big issue and your husband needs to take you seriously.

all that matters is that u r not comfortable with him doing it. if u feel hurt then to u he is cheating regardless of what he thinks. any man would say that. then he will tell u kissing a woman is not cheating. come on he should not do it just as a respect to u . next time u go out just flirt with a guy in front of him and when he gets mad tell him i was nt cheating i was just having meaning less pleasure

Confucius say:

"Woman that put man in dog house, soon find man in cat house"

It's harmless. Cut him a little slack. Are all bachelorette parties

coke and cake parties? I don't think so.

Isn't it funny all the girls think it's cheating, all the guys think it's not?

I think everyone can agree that you don't like it and so he shouldn't do it. But really, cheating? no way.

I agree with you. But, if he really likes lap dances.....then, give him one! Theres nothing better than a lap dance that he can go for afterwards.

It is wrong. I dont think he would like it if you did a lap dance for someone else.