Can someone please help me?

It's not healthy to be so dependent on each other, and have no outside contact.

You need your own time, and he needs his. If he's too jealous, then that's a problem that can only be addressed through professional help - get a therapist.

My wife was like that, and I was about to divorce her. I couldn't take it anymore. I told her we go to counseling, or I am leaving...so she agreed...and it took a couple of months, but she's gotten SO much better.

He does not have the power to help himself. Neither do you. Only someone trained in human behavior can get through to him...and make him realize that he has to want to change for himself...not just to keep you.

When someone has been hurt so many times, it seems to kill something inside of us. We find it hard to trust that we won't be hurt again. We think that when we finally let go and put our trust into this person that says they love us so much, then that's when they will hurt us.

Maybe you can include him in your search for these other friends. This doesn't mean that whenever you hang out with those people he musty be there. But by seeing who it is that your going to be friends with may make him more comfortable.

Sometimes the unknown is what scares us the most. We make these images in our minds that overwhelm us with insecurity. In our minds everyone is a potential risk to our relationship. Be it rational or not, this is how our minds work.

Communication is anther way to alleviate some of the anxiety he must be feeling. Talk about why you need friends. If he truly loves you he will see that by keeping you locked up he is not only hurting you but the relationship itself.One must grow outside a relationship in order to bring something new into it everyday.

But most of all be understanding(as difficult as this maybe) he cannot help how he's feeling. Being betrayed leaves Deep Wounds that take a long time to heal. But with alot of Love , Communication and Understanding...They will heal. Good Luck wish you the best.

p.s. You might even consider showing him this , to show your deep concern.

"Everybody needs a little time away", or so goes the Michael McDonald song from the 80's.

He may not know that this has nothing to do with how much you care about him, just your need for outside contact.

This is an insecurity issue with him. Seek counseling. I will tell you this... if you keep giving in, you keep reinforcing the behavior. He might as well chain you to the sofa.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

Who says you can't have any outside contact with anyone? Him? So what? GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND MAKE FRIENDS. DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MAN. HE HAS SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS.

My X was the same way. We spent hundreds of dollars on counseling, and he said it was my problem. The psychiatrists said that he was paranoid and delusional and his drug addictions were part and parcel of the problem (he was addicted to prescription drugs, alcohol, he called it "self medicating").

You can not live with this man. He will wreck your life. He will make you think you are s**t, and that your decisions are not right. You might think that if you present things rationally to him, he will come around. HE WILL NOT. You might think that this will change. HE WILL NOT CHANGE.

Get out of the house and get out of this relationship. Your husband is using his past "hurts" to control you. My X did the same...it was always because of his past that he acted this way, so he said. I am so OVER IT and far away from him and living a Healthy and Productive and Social life. I feel like a butterfly, better than I had felt in years.

Listen to yourself. The man is tearing your soul apart. Save Yourself. You are in a seriously desctructive relationship. You are a lover of a f*&k up. Get to support meetings, get to al Al-Anon meeting, just get help and get out.

Alice, you need other people in your life. It doesn't all revolve around him and sooner or later you are going to end up in an affair b/c he is controlling you in the utmost extreme fashion I've ever seen. I don't know how long you've been married but how long can you put up with this? It is not a good thing. People need others in their lives. Friends, acquaintances, even enemies! I hope you realize how controlling he is and do something about this b4 its too late!! Good luck.

OH man, that's not good. You cannot allow his insecurities to control every aspect of your life. Not to add to the issue but if it continues, there is potential for abuse on his part over and above what you are going through right now emotionally. You are going to have to lay it out for him. He either needs to trust you or the two of you have nothing. His baggage is painful for him but he can't shackle you with it. Look at the rest of your life. You can't live as his personal property forever, you know that, so things need to change NOW. Girlfriend, I know it is difficult to look at drawing the line because you love him but if he loves you enough to want you there, he has to see you as you, not as someone who hurt him before.

THIS IS CALLED CONTROL.

And it is a form of abuse. of COURSE you should be able to have friends, and do things within reason without your husband around. He is CONTROLLING you and I would consider counseling, because he might not realize he is doing this, or LEAVING HIM before he starts finding excuses to HIT YOU or IMPRISON YOU.

I dunno... Is there a reason you married such controlling insecure person at all? If things are the way you describe them, you guys could try marriage counseling - or, you might consider getting out altogether.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO INCLUDE HIM LIKE MAKE FRIENDS TOGETHER THEN MAYBE HE WILL FELL COMFORTABLE IF HE KNOWS THE PEOPLE YOU WILL BE AROUND LIKE ANOTHER MARRIED COUPLE

well, who asked you to marry him the first place