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Can you describe the circumstances surrounding the greatest fart of all time?

In the Mid 80s I was in the Navy with a guy named Ferguson who claimed he could "save" a fart for a week (nonsense I know) and one day at an awards ceremony on the weather deck (OUTSIDE) and cleared an entire division from around him. The Skipper at the podium, Ferguson standing there at attention surrounded by 30-40 men that opened up into a circle around him. All I can say is that it was that toxic.

Update:

Boy... were there some doosies on this one? It is just too hard for me to pick on my own... Help me out here.

11 Answers

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  • Bender
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sophistication!? Hey, I'm sophisti--BRRRRPPP--cated.

    Damn, maybe three sixers of malt liquor was too much on top of those nachos.

    Let me begin with a dismissal of the legend of the man who died from asphyxiating on his own flatulence. According to the myth, a morbidly obese man whose diet consisted primarily of cabbage and beans died from methane suffocation. A little math shows that no human could produce sufficient methane to displace the oxygen in a bedroom.

    Now, onto the better stuff. My first college roommate had led a somewhat sheltered life, and was amazed when I proved to him that farts burn. He proceeded to research that on his own for most of the semester, until one night, in his bunk, he uttered that most famous line, "Hey, watch this!" He proceeded to rear his naked butt up in the air, lit a match and ripped out a HUGE fart. His entire @ss was immediately enveloped in blue flame, and the smell of burnt hair (and fart!) assailed my nostrils. I rolled out of my bunk and ran into the hall, laughing my *** off while tears streamed from my eyes -- from laughing and from the stench. Back inside, a now somewhat wiser roomie was contemplating with great hindsight (pun intended!) the error of his judgement, as he noted his reddened ********* (yup, minor 1st degree burns, and it singed all the hair off his ***!)

    For my personal best fart story, check out this:

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am...

    heh, heh, heh.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    dirt Bowl Refugee - Woody Guthrie Aint have been given No residing house - Woody Guthrie i exchange into raised with the aid of people like Woody Guthrie. My mama grew up in a cotton container and picked taters after college whilst she have been given to bypass. Now she's a financial company president

  • 1 decade ago

    The one only time that I had ever work with my mother,she was at the other end of the plant .She was packing the parts or whatever, she was working with a lady that was form Gremany, My mom lets lose SBD, the lady had reply wow, My mom replys yes. thar went on for couple of mintues, by the time the whole place had avery foul smell. eveybody on my end of the plant had thier faces covered. Here comes my mom running going to the restroom, by her expression on her face i knew it was her, this tiny woman had made that horrblie smell. so till this day whenever someone passes gas we say, wow ,YES., WOW YES

    over and over.

  • 1 decade ago

    Why would anyone possibly wants to collect memoirs of the great farts of the world? The world needs more sophistication.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wow...was on the ferry from Vancouver Bc to Victoria...must of ate something a day earlier...on the ferry I started to cramp up...begged my husband to go on the outside deck...he just said go! Not wanting to say I need to let loose I held it till called to the car deck...he almost had to carry me at this point...the pain was awful...once inside our Blazer( sure it is not worth anything now) I let loose...he opened the windows pronto...we could hear people wondering vocally what had died ...the whole weekend at relatives was ruined...I could not pass a BM only pass this killer aroma...we still laugh!...oh but the pain!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is actually a case of someone accidently killing himself with his farts.

    He was obese, his room was nearly air-tight, and he farted so much in his sleep that he axphixiated himself.

  • 1 decade ago

    some friends were getting on a boat to have dinner with another couple .. he lifted his leg to climb aboard .. farted and poo'd himself

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    At a party, a friend had REALLY bad gas, and didn't believe that you could actually light it on fire. Well, after some convincing, he tried, and it actually singed his... well... He was so mad at us.

  • 1 decade ago

    thats awful

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sound like you just did...

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