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Why do i feel the need to push the only man I've ever been in love with away?

I'm so scared to get hurt again. I love him very much though and we live together, but lately i've been picking fights for no reason. I've never had a relationship past 6 mos and as our 6 mos. anniversary rolls around I'm scared. We're perfect for each other and he wants to marry me, but part of me is so scared that I'm gonna miss out on something more, even though I know how blessed I am to have found him.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, you are BLESSED. It took me years to find someone that I was compatible with and loved (despite having to work on our marriage daily). It sounds like you have issues with committment though I dont want to sound like a therapist. this is a huge issue for someone. It could be from being burned by past family, a past lover...I will tell you from my heart, find a good therapist and discuss the issue with him or her. Generally, there is some deep feelings behind a situation such as yours that need to be resolved in order to be in a healthy relationship. That DOESNT mean stop seeing him or push him away. Good luck sweetie. We all deserve love.

  • 1 decade ago

    You're picking fights to "test" him out. If you can be nasty and irritable and unfair, yet he still stays, then it's obvious to you that he still loves you unconditionally. It seems to me that you have been so hurt in the past that it's hard for you to accept that this one will be there for the long haul. Therefore, if you hurt him first, then he'll just pick up and leave, proving you right, and protecting your heart.

    You have to let go of the past in order to move into the future. If you keep going the way you're going, you will lose him. If you can't learn to trust in HIS feelings, and be willing to give your heart away (even with the chance of it being broken), then you might as well end it now. He deserves a fair shot.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Sorry to pay attention of your discomfort, yet the place is your backbone?? on your tale, I see nor pay attention any point out of God!! Why is that? at the beginning, how do you recognize she will have the potential to no longer parent this out in a 300 and sixty 5 days or so, and elect to return decrease back?? in case you pledged, then darn it guy- STAND!! what form of a style are you on your toddlers? merely in view which you have been thrown a curve ball, you place the bat down, and run domicile?I;ve been status for greater or less 3 years, and he or she is finally beginning to awaken. Has it been user-friendly, Heck NO!! yet God!! purely by His potential, no longer mine, for particular, Jesus Christ is the way, the reality, the existence. there is no different.we've been doing alot of religious conflict the place i'm at, we finally discovered this week, that there is a countrywide development, hold close in there, i bypass someplace, God is a God of order, He does particular issues for particular quantities of time. August is the fortieth anniversary of Woodstock. What human beings don't comprehend is at that experience, with all the immoral intercourse that went on, they placed a 40 3 hundred and sixty 5 days curse on marriage interior the u . s .. nicely, the devil is conscious that its approximately over, you will see females get whacked out everywhere this summer season, (which you're experiencing your self already) after q4, it is going to subside, God has a plan. Pray, then pray some greater.examine and study The Bible. you have childrens, stay domicile, get on the ingredient of The Lord, study who you're in Christ! initiate with Romans & Ephesians. yet another element, you're very injury, unforgivness is a sin. You supply place to the devil. the only job he has is to "thieve, kill, and smash". do no longer you think of he's having a hay day with you presently?? seek for out a Bible e book keep, stay with me right here, and inquire of a biblical deliverance ministry. You had a open door for some time for the devil to return in, your spouse left, that's no longer of God, so the only different source of the project could could desire to be the devil. She, alongside with your self are oppressed, no longer possessed. there's a brilliant distinction.i will talk from experience, this non secular stuff is quite real, hi, your dwelling it!! don't be in a brilliant hurry, your toddlers will thank you later in existence, and your returning spouse will too.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Dear Scared, Either you have low self esteem; or you know that he is not the right man! It is obvious that you are not ready for commitment. Move out into your own place and simply date this man---nothing else. Time will tell and love waits! And did you know; living with someone before marriage increases your chances of divorce, if you do marry this man? Statistics prove this. It is not wise to live together before marriage. If you two are truly meant to be, then waiting will only strenghen this relationship! Hope that I have helped. Dona G.

    Source(s): I am a college psychology student.
  • 1 decade ago

    i think you answered your own question- your scared to get hurt again. The best way to not have to worry about getting hurt is to do the hurting first. Fear of commitment after being hurt is common but if you want a lasting relationship you are going to have to eventually accept the previous pain, deal with it and move on or you will continue to sabotage every relationship that comes along.

    Source(s): been there- do that- have the t-shirt.....unfortunately :(....good luck
  • 1 decade ago

    you just answered your question, you are scared to get hurt.. i think you really know what to do except you are afraid to try.. always remember that life is about taking risks.. in love there will be no guarantee that you will be forever happy... just love him and be happy about it because love is not about having someone or owning a relationship but its about being happy because you know you have loved him..do not be afraid because as they say in order to be happy you must learn how to accept pain... good luck..

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