What to do when you feel this way?

Question

I am so torn. I have this friend, and he is the best friend anyone could ever have. Always there for me. Called him first when my Uncle died. He saved my *** when someone tried to come into my apartment and attack me. We fight, but it never lasts more than an hour or two at most. He is one of the sweetest most caring people I know. Now here is the kicker. Do I tell him how I really feel, or just be happy that I have such a great friend and not screw it up. We are like 2 peas in a pod, always together. We have the same interests for the most part, definitely like doing the same things. Everyone I know comments that if we don't get together there is something wrong with the world, because we may not be a "couple" but we sure act like one. Apparently right down to the old married couple kind of banter between us. He even slipped up one night when we were at a party and had had a few drinks and told a married friend (in jest) that his wife should be a better wife like me. He is single. ???

Update:

And just so we are clear I mean the married friends wife, the best friend is single. And we are from different parts of the world living far from home.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sit down and chat with him tell him how you feel.  If the feeling is mutual, than take things slow.  Over time you two will realize if it will work out of not.  It doesn't hurt to try right?  By the way I love your name, I have somewhat of the same name on my license plate on my car.

ceaz · Answer

Wow!  Deja Vu... I remember this from my own life....

What sucks is that you worry about if it doesn't work out after you start dating...  I mean, you can't imagine your life without this person, and you're scared that if you make the next step that either he won't want that (and that will complicate the friendship) or he will and then y'all break up (which would most likely end the friendship)... It's a tough call to make.

I have a friendship that started out this way!  It's been almost 10 years and we seem to get into relationships with other people when the other of us is single...  it really sucks to see him lovey dovey with his girlfriend (who I really like), and I know he didn't like to see me with my boyfriend.  

So, I guess my advice would be for you to go for it..   even if you think you have a while... time doesn't wait very long.  Life will happen to both of you while you wait around for the right time..  Besides that, do you want to end up having to watch eachother kiss other people?  That really makes the friendship hard, too!!  I promise!

If you don't want to come right out and say it... flirt more (even more)... say little things or just hold his hand!  SOMETHING.

fryedaddy · Answer

well it sounds like just from the elaborate attempt of detail to this story I think you already know the answer.
There is no since in denying your true feelings. If by revealing them he does not share the same. Then dont let it affect your friendship. I know once that door is opened it's very hard to proceed with the next step when there is so much expectation from the first. But remember this some people in our lifes effect us for reasons we may never understand, but still remain immortal in our hearts. Just because this guy may be on the same path with you does not mean he will be there for the journey. But if he is then by not telling him how you feel it is your own misfortune.

Miss Vira · Answer

You know I believe that if you feel this way about him then you should tell him.  Believe it or not having a few drinks will not make him tell a lie trust me.  It will make him say things that he wants or what he thinks.  So in that way he may very well think of you like that OK.  I mean go for it, what could you lose?  If he does not feel the same way about you and if he is truly the friend you say he is, then he will forget about it and continue to be friends with you.

vampire_kitti · Answer

If you are sure that you really want to be with him and it's not just what other people are saying then go for it but, know the risks. If you do break up your friendship will never be the same. If you don't however you will spend your life with the person you love and you'll have a funny story to tell people.

Anonymous · Answer

I say go for it - you never know...but you have to be prepared for the fact that possibly he sees you as only a "friend"...are you ready to face that IF that's the way it goes? He may feel the same way about you, but is afraid to say it...

Also remember, if the "love" relationship happens and then doesn't work out, you will most likely lose a very good friend...

Despite all that - if it were me, I'd go for it. True love is rare, and it's hard to find...this man may just be your "one"

Best of luck

Jess · Answer

Well its fairly obvious what you should do. Tell him. He obviously feels the same way, he called you wife. He probably is going through the same thing you are. Should you tell the other and risk your friendship on something greater? Yes I think you should. Good luck.

CherOkeeGurL · Answer

what if he doesn't have any feeling for you? what if he cares alot for you and he takes you as a friend or a sister... if you would make the first move will harm you anyways, this is guy's job not you...you cannot keep this great relation as it is??? there another way you can wait...just be patient i'm sure he's not that shy so he'll tell you someday...but what if.....?

Stacey · Answer

Shame dude
Shame.

Ha ha, kidding. Yes, you should tell him. Your boyfriend/partner/husband should, before anything, be your best friend. That way you can know its for real and that he loves you for the real you. Because he KNOWS the real you

l a u r e n · Answer

i think you should tell him.  if he feels the same way about you then great, if he doesnt then maybe you'll get him thinking about it, and if he gets mad then he wasnt that great of a friend right?  tell him...drunk people never lie, maybe he was on to something.
good luck!

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What to do when you feel this way?

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