What's your take on this situation?

The first three answers are right but next time you have to watch the child insist to your brother that he alone bring the child to your home it can help you to put some distance between the sister in law and help give you back your self-respect.You don't owe her anything just remember to be polite and not do anything when you find yourself in whole family situations around her.I've been there myself so I know who it can make you feel cause my brother in law's wife acts like that too.You'll be in my prayers,best of luck!

I'm afraid to say your mother is right. Some people can dish it out, but just can't take it. She sounds like she's one of them. There is a way to put her in her place while making a small stand without causing great conflict. And that's simply responding differently to her little jabs. For example, when she told you that you could have loaded the dishwasher, you could have simply said "I figured I would leave something for you to do since you didn't do anything else". Or when she tells you to get this or that, look at her legs and simply ask her if they are broken. My brother's first wife was like this and I have three sisters. We were brought up in close knit family where everyone helped out, she apparently was an only child who was pampered just a little to much. Needless to say, we put her in her place the minute she opened her mouth demanding something. My mother was a peacemaker too, yet she found it rather amusing to see this evil woman conform to the way our family did things. Eventually she quit her pissy attitude and saw the light!

Let sleeping dogs lay. Put some distance between the two of you if you need to but consider what the worst case scenario would be, upsetting the family and possibly causing a rift. For better or worse your brother made his choice and you need to accept that. You will not win a war against this person. You can only lose. The best that you can do is make a personal adjustment for your own sanity.

To quote my father after he read an elopement letter from my sister, "I've got six kids, and none of them are alike." It is very true. We have all managed to look past our political and spiritual differences and goofy spouses and remained family. Just let it go. The problem is not yours. Be glad that you are not her.

My mother was a traditional native woman who raised 14 children. We are all very different but we found a way to live together without too much chaos. She taught us many lessons in our life times and maybe she may be able to help you too.

My mother used to say that some times a persons words will go through their mouths before they go through their heads. What she meant was that sometimes a person doesn't think about how what he/she says will affect other people. I'm not sure if this may be what is going on with your sister in-law, but have you tried telling her how she makes you feel?

My mother used to also say that it is not our place to judge one another, that we will be judged by our creator. So maybe your sister in-law needs to hear this?

Just because some else is acting rude or ignorant, that doesn't mean we should let that change the way we, ourselves, act. If we give respect, we then receive respect. So please take the high road and deal with your sister in-law with strength and dignity.

Good luck to you.

Well, you should ask yourself, "What do I GAIN by venting my frustration?"

If you enjoy the company of your brother and your niece decide how further "alienating" your SIL will promote the relationship with them.

You might be more successful in finding some way of THINKING that will allow you to let her "comments" slide without upsetting you. Do you think she will EVER be the kind of person you'd like? Maybe she's incapable of this kind of graciousness. Maybe she's miserable and can't express it.

I think you're smart enough to figure out how to rise above her hostility and maintain a close relationship with bro and niece.

Sounds to me like she has some sort of inferiority complex and this is how she is compensating: by lashing out. She is unconsciously jealous of how together your act is compared to her own life, and her best defense is a steady offense.

Basically, she is really insecure. Maybe if she somehow became more comfortable around you, she wouldn't feel the need to act that way. Good luck.

Do this, walk right up to her and tell her to stop being that way. even if she or some other person try to say something say what you have to say and don't let her out talk you. make sure that your heard and that you don't back do, you should help your family and tell her off. many people do that because they want power over others, but if you don't give them that power they "many" back off. Yet some people are stupid and will try to do something stupid so just watch out for that

She's just a rude control freak. Dont let her treat you this way . When she says something hurtful to you just do the same back,she needs to see how it feels when the shoe is put on the other foot. I think your family has let her get away with this behaviour way to long. Everyone deserves some common curtosy especially when you do something nice. If she cant say thanks next time just dont do it.

I agree, she does it, because your family lets her. It comes down to how much can you put up with before you explode or can live without seeing your brother & niece. Just because that is how she, does mean it should hurt your life or put you down. I would have to say enough is enough and get it straighten out now.

Am responding as I am reading,,,First ,,when she says,,get me this,,say,,you are not a guest anymore ,,you are family so get it yourself,,At certain times,,say,,that is my oppinion,,(play her @ her own game)about the dishes,,I would have said,,but we were sooo busy cleaning the rest of this mess,,I think that she felt that you made her look bad,,oh well,,If you want family peace,,beat her at her own game in a quiet manner.She will soon enough wise up when she knows who she is playing with & that you wont break.Good luck.Id have a riot with her,,ha.