Word Perfect Helpline?

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it

have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord

goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the

wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables

plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other

cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of

your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's

dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from

the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you

still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was

when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too bloody stupid to own a computer."

Power outage? Computer? She must have been Blonde.