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i need relationship advice PLEASE HELP!?
this is a semi long story but ill make it as short as possible. my girlfriend and i have been together for 25 and a half months. about a year ago she was out of the country and she was drunk and her and this guy had sex. it was a guy from her school. since then we moved about 4 hours away from home and we go back to visit every once in a while. well she was hanging out with the guy behind my back and had been myspace messaging him and texting him. now theres a rumor that she had sex with him and that shes going to break up with me. the rumors are being told to me by a friend that says she was there. and my girlfriend tells me she didnt do anything. i just want advice.
19 Answers
- daisyLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Confront her about it again, if her body language says she is lying, if she doesn't come up front with you then move on...once a cheater it is hard to change! And lying doesn't help what a relationship is suppose to be built on..trust.
- 1 decade ago
First of all, rumors are just rumors.
2 years is a long time for a relationship....and from what you have shared, I think you two need a little "space" of your own.
You shouldn't break up because of something you heard...there are a lot of reasons why people exagerate what really happened...you can't know everyone's motives. If your girlfriend never lied to you before, then she's probably not lying now. And even if she is, she's likely lying to avoid confronting you with the truth -- maybe she wants out?
From your tone, my advice is to talk with her and ask her for some time apart. Don't break up in a dramatic way...just take a break. You are young...you need to spend time meeting lots of new people, having new experiences, and stretching yourself physically and emotionally. Only after you've "sown your oats" will you be ready to make a longer committment to someone.
- fizzygurrl1980Lv 71 decade ago
Sometimes rumors are true, but many times they have no merit whatsoever. If your girlfriend swears she's not doing anything with this guy, you owe it to her to believe her until YOU actually witness something that confirms the rumors. The whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing applies in this situation too. A relationship is all about trust, and if you feel like you can't trust her for your own reasons, that's one thing, but you have confronted her about this and she says it's not true. She may be lying, but as her boyfriend you have to be loyal to her and stick by her as long as there's no evidence of this really happening. Also, you may want to let her know just what would happen between the two of you if she ever did cheat. If you spell it out for her in no uncertain terms that you would leave her and never come back, she will think twice about cheating when the opportunity presents itself.
- PhaylynnLv 51 decade ago
If she's doing anything behind your back than she's doing something wrong. If I were you, I would take a break from her. Be the one to do the dumping. Tell her that you think you've met someone and you'd like to start seeing other people. But that doesn't mean that you can't still see each other from time to time and you'll always want to be her friend. Then go out and find a hot girl to make your own. It will drive her crazy with jealousy and make her realize how much she loves you!
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- 1 decade ago
Check your source, the girl who told you the info may be only trying to break you and your girl up. Whether you stay with someone who cheated on you or not is up to you, but I definately think that cheating is a relationship killer. My reason is because then there is no trust, (which is why you're questioning her now - about this new info) and once there's no trust - there's no relationship!
I'd say you probably know the answer to your own questions, if you listen to your heart.
Source(s): Life - 1 decade ago
If she had sex with this guy before she's lyble to do it again. I really don't listen to rumors cause 90% of the time they ain't true just talk to her ask her if she having sex with this guy. It may or may not be true. If you feel like the rumors are true break up with her first.Good Luck!
- 1 decade ago
Trust me, she's not worth it. I just found out today for sure that my boyfriend of 5 years has another girl. A friend tried to tell me, but I chose to ignore it. I asked my boyfriend if he was cheating and he told me no and that this girl was "just a friend". Now, I have this girl harassing me and telling me to leave him alone because he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. It hurts me a lot, but I know I have to end it. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Source(s): personal experience. - 1 decade ago
If the friend who is telling you this is a good friend you should end it with her ASAP! a two year relationship is long but if she is doing this she's either not into it anymore or there is more to this story than what you're telling. Bottom line. You lost all trust for her because she voilated it. It will never work.
- 1 decade ago
As painful as it is to face up to - I think you need to distance yourself from her.
Even if she hasn't had sex with him a second time, she is being DISHONEST with you. She's sneaking around with him, messaging him, etc. It's not like she's lying about something unimportant. She's lying about being true to you.
It sounds like that is just her character, her nature. The only way to work thru that would be with counselling, if you and she are willing.
But you deserve better than this. You've been honest with her and even forgiven her for this in the past. You deserve someone who will treat you as good as you treat them.
Good luck.
- 1 decade ago
well if you believe that your gf was unfaithful I would have broken it off then. Once a cheater always a cheater. She had sex with another guy. That's a big deal. It's hard to break up with someone you love. But you are always going to have that doubt in back of your mind. You don't want to live you life with someone who cheated on you.