I came out to my parents and it did not go well, What is the typical response?

Hello Randy,

I am sorry to hear about this....I am sure she will get over it soon like my mom did. She pretended that she took it really well, but she was freaked out at the beginning..she just didnt let me know. Well you know the story about my father, you answered my question yesterday. If it is any consolation, you are not alone on this, everyone who is gay or g0y etc. has been through this. I really doubt that there are parents out there who can TRULY accept it.

As for the religion prosecution? Just dont listen to them, we all know that you are better than this, and it is between god and you. Personaly I am not religious but I respect your choice and beliefs. NO ONE can decide whether you go to hell or not.

But you know what? I am sure your mother will be fine in time and she will accept you even if she disagrees with your life style.

My mom says she is OK with it, but always tells me to hide it, not be out and never supports gays when someone makes homophobic comments...so your situation could become better in the future, you never know. I know you will be OK with your parents, besides you told me to do the same and they will see things in a different light.

Good luck and I wish you the best.

Panos

P.S. I can sense how hurt you are right now, from your writing and only. Time always heals....both sides - you and your parents.

If there is a god indeed, he made us like this for a reason. Besides, he always works in mysterious ways ;)

P.P.S

Dont mind soccer dude, I am sure that him and his kind wouldnt be able to touch one of us...besides most of us work out and keep fit. Thats why they attack us via the net, they dont have the balls to say it face to face because they know they will be picking their teeth from the pavement afterwards.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Sorry, but how can a WOMAN report a MAN who came out for sexual harassment??? It doesnt really make sense...sorry to hear about that mate...she must be really disturbed. And they say that WE are going to hell. LOL

Also, dont judge from the current behaviour of your parents.

Let me tell you my boyfriend's story, life is not just black and white.

When he came out, his mom was fine with it (these British always amaze me) but his dad stopped talking to him. BUT after that he had a big arguement with his mom and he didnt speak to her for 12 years. But in the meantime he talked with his dad again and they came together after 17 years of no communication at all. Now he is talking with his mom again, and I was there with him when they re-joined. So the message here is, that he ended up talking with his father but didnt talk with his mom while she was the acceptive one (Sexuality wise). So, its many different factors that make up our life. Now he is fine with both of them and I am so happy for him. You will be just fine I am sure. And his parents come from an era where it was ILLEGAL to be homosexual.

I am a lesbian myself and have the great blessing to know what it is to have my family accept me. When I came out at first they all pretty much were like "AND...you think we didn't know"... lol. Just this past saturday the woman I am seeing came to meet my family for the first time and it was the most liberating thing ever... My grandfather told me "I don't care who you like.. you're a nice girl and thats what matters".... That statement was so simple but so deep.=) I also know what the other situation is like. My partner's family is very against the idea of her being gay but she tolerates it pretty well. She gets the lecture about how no one will respect her and how God made man for woman and all that from her mom on a monthly basis. I've met her family too and even though they don't like the idea.. I think love overcomes it. They see that what we share is just like any other loving relationship... Just stay true to yourself... Real love is acceptance and wanting the best for those you care about...They may never agree but if they come to acceptance thats all you can ask for... it gets easier with time when they adjust to the idea a little more.

In a sort of strange manifestation; people are much more comfortable living in a narrow definition of life; even when its a huge delusion. I think perhaps its a cooping mechanism. In essence, its the mind preventing overloading of the senses.

In as much; its irresponsible for a person to limit their thoughts, feelings, growth, sexual identity; so that another person can live in a lie. Ironically, the truth has an uncanning way of surfacing to the top. No matter what tactics are used; the truth prevails. I'm thinking the best thing to do at this point man, would be to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Make careful statements, and be lead with wisdom, from above.

I'm proud that you let your parents know the whole true you.

The one case of parental persecution for Christian beliefs against their gay son that was resolved well happened like this: people who are dealing within a religious mindset think spiritually and irrationally so logic won't appeal to them; instead, you have to pit their beliefs against similar beliefs. For example, in the case I heard of, the parents disowned the son, he was going to hell and all that, so he took them to an open and affirming church and sat his parents down with the pastor who told them that Jesus loves and that Christianity is not about snap judgements and damning people to hell, and that God is all about love, and that since he lives a good life then that's all that matters. Basically, fight religion with religion. Judge not lest ye be judged; let he who is without sin cast the first stone. All that. Best of luck to you.

It is, unfortunately, all too common. That's why groups like the Point Foundation exist, because LGBT kids have been cut off by their parents. (It provides college scholarships and mentoring.)

It got better with my mom. She no longer calls my wife "the little bald *****", and she's finally accepted that my liking girls is not a phase. It really took a lot of patience on all of our parts. I'm 32, and came out to her (whispering, rather shamefully and hesitantly) at 15.

I hope it does get better for you, and fast.

Hey Randy it will be ok, the same thing happened to me when I told my parents. My Mother was ok with it, but my Father disowned me, so for 4 years my Father and myself didn't even speak to eachother. Then after 4 years he called me and asked me to come over o their house because he wanted to talk to me, nobody knew that he had been going for counseling for the 4 years we didn't speak to learn how to deal with the issue. He thought that it was a choice I had made because I had been married to a female. So long story short my father and myself are now like best friends. He also loves my partner like a son too. If you ever need to talk feel free to drop me a line. Good Luck!

I'm not homosexual, so I can't share any 'coming out' stories with you, unfortunately. However, I don't think that there is a 'typical response'. Everybody's family is different. I think the way your friends and family will respond to such news depends on how they were brought up and what they believe to be right or wrong.

You are not at fault for being true to yourself. If you parents have a problem with the fact that you are gay, that is their problem.

However, you can't expect others to accept you if you follow a religion which (at its heart) does not accept you and prevents you from accepting yourself. No matter how tolerant they appear to be, Christians (and Muslims and most Jews) believe that homosexuality (or homosexual acts, it doesn't matter because they are just playing word games) is a sin. You are not wrong for accepting your sexual orientation, and you should not tolerate those who would say differently.

Your mom's responce is pretty typical. Generally unless you have a lot of siblings parents aren't quick to give up on their offspring. Usually given time and space they'll come around..

There's nothing about posting to a question that makes a Homophobe come out. Their deep unabiding shame does that.

Yeah sorry to hear that.

Sorry to hear that at your age you still seem to find it important to make yourself feel better even if it means hurting your parents.

You should be proud...wave that rainbow high!

Also sorry to hear that you think everyone that does not approve of your lifestyle is gay too.

Sorry to hear that you beleive in Jesus Christ and still choose to live in sin. Technically that makes you more of a sinner than a Christian but that is between you and your creator.

But hey what the heck, celebrate there you big tough gay guy!

lol

As for other comments...

You say it is your right to come out and upset anyone as long as it is 'Being true to self' (sounds selfish to me)

and then in the same breath say not to TOLERATE anyone saying a different view.

Sounds like gay nazism to me.

Heil!!!

Never said I was better of more pious. Just simply pointing out the err in your reasoning. It says a man that lies with man is an abomination. Definition can be found in any dictionary.

But feel free to pick and choose from the Bible as much as you wish.

I have no preacher btw nor am I am bible thumper or conservative freak.

Just someone that has more sympathy for your grieving parents than for you.

I mean, do I need to tell my parents I like multiple partners?

Really now???

Do you really want your proud parents to seek counseling?

You folks have your priorities all mixed up.

Narccisism surrounded by self rightous arrogance.