Do you have a good bear joke?

A daddy bear walks into a drug store with son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the little bear asks,

"What are these, Daddy bear?"

To which the daddy bear matter-of-factly replies,

"Those are called condoms, little bear.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the little pensively.

"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

"Why are there 3 in this package."

The daddy bear replies, "Those are for high school boys.

One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the daddy bear answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and

TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the little bear,

"then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the daddy bear replied,

"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female."

The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said,

"I wish that the bear was gay."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? "Bear" false wittness against me and I'll take you to court!

I don't know any green, smells like a pig jokes, but I'm sure you'll hear from others who "do." My jokes are brown bear jokes, no green involved here.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice and pour the contents of a can of peas around the hole.

Wait for the polar bear to come down to take a pea and you simply kick him in the ice hole.

Oh that is bad, I knew I would degenerate to this level eventually but it's your fault. After all you asked for it.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit, ”Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?”

The rabbit says no. So the bear wiped his @ss with the rabbit.

ya happy Fozzie?

What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth?

A GUMMY BEAR!

Umm... what IS green and smells like a pig?????????

Go to HELL, you stupid bear!