I have 4kids but my 8 year old feels neglected even though we spend time with her, even 1on1 help?

I have 3 boys, so my answer may be a little on the terse side for a girl. Tell her to cut the drama. Firmly, but lovingly, tell her she IS loved and if she doesn't feel that way, she needs to explain to you exactly how you are spending more time with the other's. Also, remind her that as she grows, her siblings will be very important to her.

I imagine this started (or got worse) when the 10 month old was born. Have her help you care for the baby. Let her know you "couldn't do it without her".

I have a drama child too; I feel for you. (edited to say: all of these answers are very good! The one who said drama child has a pic of an 8 year old girl in the dictionary was probably more right on than we all know. It IS a hard age, especially these days)

I think if you look up DRAMA QUEEN in the dictionary there is a picture of an 8 year old girl next to the definition, lol.

Maybe plan a Mom and daughter "playing hooky day" every couple of months (do it on a school day to and make it extra special: this can be discussed ahead with teacher to make sure she isn't missing something vital) would be a good idea. Go shopping, have lunch, go to a spa a have your nails done together, whatever you both enjoy. If you can't do it then maybe Grandma or Auntie could do it with her.

All children some point in life goes through this. Just keep reassuring her that you love her the same as everyone else. With a new baby or other siblings they think that you love them more because they need more of your time. Try letting her help out with her little brothers or sisters.

I'd simply ask her what she'd like to do. And talk to her, let her know that when she was as old as your younger children, she needed that much attention as well. Tell he when they get to be her age, they will be a little more independent and not require a lot of your time.

maybe the problem is too much attention. that's my experience with drama from children. sometimes they need some space of their own.

Sounds like your giving her plenty of attention, maybe she can help you out with the baby so she can be your "little Mommy".