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I need some help with this one. My boyfriend and I just got into?
an argument. Weve hit a bit of a rough patch this week with car trouble and some minor money difficulties but nothing major. He is always accusing me of being selfish. Not outright but by saying things like I didnt think to do this or that and then I realize I could have been a little more thoughtful. The problem is that I am not a mind reader, and I feel like he expects me to just know what is on his mind and what he needs. He rarely just tells me or asks when something is on his mind. I have tried telling him to be a little more open with me and letting me know outright but this has not worked. Sometimes I feel like he expects me to be perfect. Am I being selfish by not just knowing what he needs? I really need some insight on this because I truly love him, In every other aspect of our relationship things are wonderful.
3 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Sounds like you both are trying to work through this. Unfortunately sometimes arguments do occur, the only thing is when the dusts settles what then? I believe that by him not telling you right away that this or that was not exactly what he expected seems he is trying to be tolerant. Where he is trying maybe not to impose on you all the time what he think or how he thinks things should be. But if he bottles it up and then waits to explode letting you have it all at once, you are right he really should tell you then and there. Not bottle it up and make him resent or get so angry. He has to realize you fess up to things you tell him "Oh I had no idea I was coming across that way" so he has to know you are not intentionally doing things to irritate him. Keep talking, keep telling him to tell you. Tell him "Hey let post this or that and have people who don't know you and don't know me, tell us what they think is going on. People who have nothing to gain" People who do this just because we've all been there and think Hey maybe someone else can benefit from past mistakes. Good Luck to you and him I really hope it works out for you two.
- Helen W.Lv 71 decade ago
No one is a mind reader, and you are not selfish if you don't "just know" what your boyfriend needs. You are also not necessarily selfish if, knowing what he needs, you aren't able to give it to him. It is not your role to guess and give, and trust me, you will go crazy if you try!
- 1 decade ago
no one is a mind reader so tell him he should just open up to you more. how can you be selfish if you don,t know what he needs
