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Do you have the same sleep habits as your spouse? Do you ever wake during the night? More...?

My husband thinks it is 'abnormal' because I often wake during the night. Maybe 3-4am I make my coffee and sometimes stay up and sometimes am able to fall back to sleep.

When I do wake tho I am really awake. I had talked to my therapist about this and he suggested to get up ...not to stay in bed if I can't sleep because then "you associate your bed as NOT a place of rest."

I don't know what to do to change my sleep patterns. Any ideas?

Should I have to change my sleep pattern just to conform because my husband thinks it is wrong?

Best answer will answer all my questions. Thank you ~Z~

Update:

thx devil...but wanted to add that I drink decaf coffee.

8 Answers

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  • Lydia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My husband and I are totally different when it comes to sleep, and it's gotten worse after over 17 years. He can sleep anytime, anyplace, with lights on, tv blaring, radio on - doesn't matter. He sleeps sitting up.

    I have been an insomniac since high school. I currently have the same problem you do - up at 3 or 4, make coffee, watch tv taped from the evening before, then get on here for a while. What your therapist said was right - the bed is for sleeping (and play), not for being in when you can't sleep. Actually in a way, this situation is better than it used to be - I used to have trouble falling asleep, which was worse. Now I can fall asleep, and not stay asleep. Interestingly, it may have something to do with age. I have three older sisters. I am 45, one is 10 years older, the other 13 years older. They both had the same thing happen in their mid-40s, and said it lasted a few years. That's a heck of a coincidence.

    I don't have a solution for you, or for me. I guess we try just to deal with it the best we can. There's no way I would ever use sleeping pills or anything herbal or anything, so it is what it is for now....

  • 1 decade ago

    I am glad to hear that I am not alone. I wake up also, I usually lay there for a minute and know I am not going to be able to sleep. It is so aggravating for me. I get up, open a coke, turn on the tv(low) and play online, like you sometimes I stay up and sometimes I lay back down. I have tried many medications and none really seem to help at all. WalMart does make a sleep aid that seems to help me fall back asleep without that feeling in the morning, it is equate-sleep aid liquidcaps. Sometimes I take it and sometimes I dont. As far as my husband goes, he is about used to it by now, he grinds his teeth to the point where my skin is crawling so I guess we are about even. Good Luck and I hope this helps you out but you are not alone

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    U can't just change you sleep pattern just b/c your husband says you should. That is going to take some time. Maybe your bed is the reason why you can't sleep. Maybe you need to try a new bed like the sleep number bed or something. Also, lay off the coffee! All that caffeine is in your system no wonder you can't sleep!

  • 1 decade ago

    i usually stay up later than my husband and get up before he does.if your awake your awake. laying in bed is only going to make you ache every where.and if you are like my it is hard to lay still when you are awake and cannot sleep. my husband would rather me be up and doing something then tossing and turning and keeping him up. as long as you are not keeping him from sleeping, there is no reason to try to change your sleeping habits.tell your husband that you love him, but you cant help how you sleep. that you don't leave or do anything immoral, maybe he will calm down when he realizes that you are not trying to upset him.i think he is just worried that you are not getting enough rest.i hope this helps.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No 2 people have the same sleep habits and some people don't require as much sleep as others. There's nothing wrong with your sleep habits but there's something wrong with anyone that thinks so.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, I like to go to bed early and get up really early to start housework. My hubby on the other hand likes to go to bed at 3am and sleep until noon. It drives me crazy how he can do that lol, but you just have to learn to live with it. If it really bothers both of you, maybe you'll have to resort to sleeping in two different bedrooms.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Stop drinking even decaf coffee after 6pm. don't nap in the day.

  • 1 decade ago

    if what you do works for you, then continue, If it distresses you for some reason other than your spouses preferences, then seek means to alter it.

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