Okay..so I posted my question about Disrepectful Teenagers. Now what about this situation?

I think it sounds like a great solution. Why should her snotty self get to go shopping and have money spent on her with that attitude. You're in her father's life for a reason, so she needs to deal with it, and respect you. It's totally fair. Just make sure you can trust her at home alone. I say nip her attitude in the bud right away, because otherwise you could be in for a long life of her never respecting you. Putting your foot down sounds good - just tell her that when she learns to respect you, then you guys can spend time together and become friends but you will not tolerate her attitude - she's going to have to learn it sometime in life, may as well be now!

You think her attitude towards you is not right? What do you think her attitude should be? Have you stopped to consider how she feel and why she has this 'attitude' towards you? Do you respect her in all the aspects you wish to be respected? Are you and your 'boy friend' on the same page as to the disciplining process you're adopting?

You see, there are many aspects of parenting that often go undetected by parents, be they the natural parents or not. There are basically four reasons why kids have inadequate conduct: they need or want attention, they are in a struggle for power, they are seeking revenge for a wrong they feel has been committed against them and fourth and last, they just feel frustrated because they've lost their direction and or purpose in life. Stop to consider what I have just said and see if you can pinpoint the reason or reasons she misbehaves and disrespects, then it will be easier to help her adjust her conduct. Take a mature, assertive, patient and respectful approach to finding a solution and all of you will benefit.

As a parent I wish you the best!

The first thing that comes to my mind is this:

What will she do with herself while you are out shopping? will she be able to be on the phone or internet with friends, etc.? What type of punishment is that?

Frankly, I think it's unfair that your bf expects you to go shopping with his kids, especially when he knows you are having these issues with his oldest.

If you leave without her, it may cause more problems with the bf too. I certainly wouldn't put up with any sass from her though. I'd go, and take her, but tell her up front if she gives you any grief, the entire shopping trip will be cut short, and EVERYONE will stay home - and she won't be able to be on the phone, net, etc.

Good luck.

It can be very difficult for older children to accept new parents. Especially if your bf has dated other women in the past and broken up with them.

It's probally not something personal against you, it's just a manifiestation of the loss and pain she's probally suffered.

You might recomind talking to a psychologist.

Wow you have yourself the typical teenager. If you feel it would be more hassle to take her and her attitude along with you make her wait until her father is able to go along. But what is to say her attitude will change just because he goes along with her. Most teenagers outgrow this phase and if one doesn't go through it I'm sure everyone would wonder what was wrong with him/her.

I think you are forgetting that this young lady is also a person and an individual. I think you are forgetting that perhaps you should look at YOURSELF and your actions aswell. I think you may be forgetting that you are very lucky to have the opportunity to have this beautiful young woman who is CLEARLY reaching out to you for a female console. Can you not see yourself in her image? Were you not once a rebellious young teenage woman? You're lying to yourself if you say no to eother of those questions.

Perhaps you ought to re evaluate your relationship with this young lady. Personally I would be more concerned with making sure that the lines of communication were open. . .because if they are not. . .and you are currently CLEARLY completly misunderstanding the messages you are trying to send eachtoher.. .. you are just asking for a whole world of additional troubles. How terrible it would be for the two of you to never get it out in the open that you are simply trying to love her and keep her safe. . .as a parent that is your job and she is simply trying to be an individual at a time of great uncertainty and she needs your guidance.

Try putting her in charge of a Christmas project or tradition for your family. This will help her to feel important and will give her a sense of being included in your blended family. While you are shopping, be open about what you are shopping for so she can help look for things with you. Good Luck and Merry Christmas.

-Jessica T.

I would leave her at home when you go shopping and tell her it's up to dad to take her if she is going to go. Let her know right up front that you won't tolerate that type of behaviour and that there are consequences. Good Luck!!!

Gosh this child seems like a total brat.You're right.She has to know that she can't act like that towards anyone,especially grownups

Wow, that's a tough situation... Talk to the husband/bf and see what he thinks