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Men Only Please: What Does He Want/ Is It Even Worth Trying For?
There will be more right after this, plese be patient.
I have a deep emotional/ physical attraction to a volunteer firefighter in the fire tech classes we have together. He is a bit older than me. He takes pride in being honest above all else, including with me. Over the past few months, I have slowly started to catch his attention. At one point has asked me why I was always working so hard, and doing so many things, and why I was always so damn stressed out when he saw me. I told him that I was attracted to him and that I thought he was a great guy, and that I was hoping we could spend more time together outside of class. He smiled at me, then he laughed and said he had noticed me ears ( I had repierced them) and he thought I was acting funny, but he thought it was because of this other guy in our classes who is closer to my age. He said I was cute, and didn't really say yes or no either way. Then he hugged me and offered to take me home. He continued hugging me before and after
class, and then taking me home after. He would flirt with me and smile and hug me and give a look that I can't quite describe. He says I am much older than 18 in my actions. A few weeks later he asked me if I was 18. I was surprised because he already knew I was. I answered anyway, and I asked him why. He said that if I wasn't 18, I could get him in trouble. I thought that was a good sign and asked him why. He said a lot of his friends got in trouble. In the next breathe he said, "we're just friends right?" I got a bit offended and told him yes, but because that was what he seemed to want. I told him that I'm not a damn flake, and that I don't just stop feeling something because it isn't reciprocated. I told him that he hadn't even given me a reason yet. He tried to bluff me twice, and I called him on it, he ended up telling me that he had been through some rough stuff with an ex who was still causing him some heartache, and he still wasn't exactly over her, and he wasn't ready to
trust me. Then he told me that I really deserved someone who could trust me one hundred percent from day one and he couldn't do that. Then he asked me for a hug. Then he said, "things would have been so different three years ago..." Then he asked me if I was for sure 18. Again I said yes. Since then he's been hugging me again and taking me home. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cross an emotional line with him, out of respect. I also don't see what it matters if I am eighteen if we're just going to be friends. I thinks he is confused and I don't want to try anymore, because I am confused too, and it is painful. Then our instructor called me in after class and told me he knew, because I looked at the guy the way his wife used to look at him or something similar to that. He said it just takes guys a little longer to realize that what they want and what they need are the same thing. So now I am just stuck... I don't know what the guy wants or if it's even worth this. Please, hones
answers only. Sorry, had trouble with the computer, details are late. I aploagize. I really appreciate the advice I've gotten so far.
6 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Ok, sorry, I just saw the additional details...he's obviously not gay, or shy... (they weren't there when I typed this originally)
The only thing it seems you can do, is give it time. Forcing him into something with you, will push him away in the long run. Be patient. Go out and do the things you need to do, and if he comes around when you're ready, then good for you. If he's late coming around to date you because you've met someone else...that's his problem. I don't want to sound mean...but really, you have to take care of you, your feelings, and your life. Waiting around for someone to get over his ex just shouldn't be in the mix. Take care of yourself...
I know that might sound selfish and difficult to do.. but what if... you wait for him, he comes around in a few months... you date...and he turns out to be something different than you expected? Suddenly, you've waited for someone.... that wasn't for you. If he is meant for you... you'll end up dating in the long run somehow....some way.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Make sure he's not in a relationship. But he thinks you're nice and I'm sure he's willing to give you a chance. Some guys may not feel right at first, talking or dating to someone younger, but if he sees that you're mature enough he will give it a go. So keep at it.
I can understand how he feels coming out of a bad relationship and how mistrust can be an issue. You can't really expect trust to be there from day one, especially if he has been hurt before. Earn his trust as he should yours. If he keeps asking you if you're really 18, it might be because he is thinking of taking it further, but again his pain may be stopping him from making a decision. If you like this guy, when he asked if you were just friends, you should have been honest and told him that yes for now, but when he is ready maybe you guys can take it further. Love takes risks, so don't be afraid to leave yourself open, don't hide your feeling or else later on you'll regret it. Give him some time, but ask him to be upfront with you at all times.
- lashleyLv 45 years ago
Hello, You appear a quite fine man. And I could willingly electronic mail you. But I do have a boyfriend, so you may also no longer wish to speak to me. BUT how come eight months in the past, you published a query announcing "I'm scared I'm homosexual" and approximately whether or not females like bi-guys. So I'm no longer overly certain you understand what you wish to be sincere. Maybe you must variety your head out after which figure out what (or who) you wish. All the exceptional and chat in case you wish to. XXX
- 1 decade ago
He is obviously mature, but at the same time he knows how to play hard to get . Its obviously working, give it a try, what can it hurt? Just make sure he doesnt have a wife at home!BE CAREFUL!
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- 1 decade ago
Guys are motivated differently than women ... I applaud you for attempting to understand ... also he is not motivated by cleaning the house, which is probably high on the ladies list of motivators .....
- WaterdragonLv 71 decade ago
well he does sound like he is interested --- so go with the flow maybe the good old coffee and talk and see what happens
